


blue boy

by justonedayy



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Aromantic Character, Art, Depression, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mark is gay, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Child Abuse, Past Sexual Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Harm, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, mostly angst tho, this is a whole trigger warning, this whole group is gay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-10
Updated: 2018-03-18
Packaged: 2018-12-26 08:48:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 19,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12055458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justonedayy/pseuds/justonedayy
Summary: Typical high school AU where the NCT kids are sad and gay.--Mark is sad and catching feelings.  So is the rest of NCT.  Let's see how it all goes.





	1. lost

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!! Thanks for clicking it means a lot. This is pretty much all self indulgent and vent writing. Enjoy!!

The default alarm ringtone wakes him from a dream. His phone reads 8am. Transfer student orientation starts at 10am. Mark looks at the wall next to his bed, where a calendar with the day August 20th circled and marked “hell begins”. Today was the day hell began.

  
His new start at a new school, after the last 3 schools had ended terribly. He was a good student, just not good with people. He had left the last three after sexual and physical harassment, but this one was “going to be different”. After the countless tours, his adopted parents decided that a private high school with smiling students and good ratings on their website would suit Mark best.

  
Just don’t talk to anyone. They can’t hurt you if you just don't talk to them.

  
Mark had realized that his life wasn’t going to be the easiest at the early age of 7. March 2nd. The day the principal had to take him home from school because his mother never showed up. He walked into his house to find his mother with her wrists cut open and an empty container of painkillers next to her. The funeral was quiet, and the moment they got home, his father blamed Mark for it. That night, the physical abuse started. Sexual abuse began 4 months later. For the first time in his life, Mark wished to be dead, as his father touched him in ways that he shouldn’t. Eventually it stopped when he was 12. Mark arrived home from school to see that his father had killed himself in the same way his mother had. After two years of being in the foster care system he was adopted.

  
He didn’t expect to be adopted, mostly because he was severely traumatized and most couples looked to adopt an infant. But he was adopted by his new “parents”. He never did call them “mom” or “dad”, he always stuck to “Mr. and Mrs. Min”. He had a nice family now, but the trauma never left him alone.

  
After changing into jeans and a light sweatshirt, he went out to the kitchen. Mr. and Mrs. Min had left to work already, but they left behind a note and $10. He left the house pretty early, deciding that it would be better to be early than late.

  
The walk to the school was about 20 minutes, and as he walked in smiling faces greeted him.

  
“Hi! Are you a transfer?” He nodded. “Great! This is Sicheng, he will lead you to sign in and then take you to the main building where you can wait for the other transfers to arrive.”

  
Mark looked towards “Sicheng”. He had pretty lips, a cute smile, and ears that stuck out a little bit.

  
The walk to the main building seemed to last forever as Sicheng kept on asking him questions. Mark did his best to answer in as few words as possible, a voice telling him that “You won’t get hurt if you don’t get close, you won’t get hurt if you don’t get close”.

  
There were a few other transfer students at orientation, no other students really sticking out too much. Their schedules were given out and he looked over his classes. He received sophomore level classes, with the exception of AP Calculus. After the mess at the last few schools, Mark ended up without enough credits to pass sophomore year. As for math, it was the only thing he focused on from a young age and ended up teaching himself a lot of it. He had already taken AP Calc last year, but everything was too overwhelming for him and ended up skipping the class more often than not.

  
“Thank you for joining us today for the transfer orientation, you’re all welcome to leave now unless you have any questions or would like to walk around campus to locate your classes.”

  
He decided against looking for his classes, seeing as the campus was easy to get around.

  
“Mark”

  
He turned around to see the pretty Sicheng looking at him.

  
“Yeah?”

  
“Sorry, but if you ever find yourself needing help or if you just need someone to sit with, you can talk to me.”

  
Mark smiled at him, not trying to seem rude. But he also didn’t need help, friendship ended in pain and he had enough of that already. He didn’t need anyone at this new school.

  
He felt Sicheng’s stare as he walked away. Did he already know? He seemed concerned, but in a caring way. Something that no one had showed to Mark before.  
“Mark, wake up, your first day is today!”

  
No, no, no, not today.

  
He felt the familiarity of social anxiety take over him, followed immediately by the feeling of tiredness and sadness.

  
Despite the heavy feeling at his chest, he sat up in his bed, looking over to the clock reading 6:45am. Towards the end of his bed, he saw the clothes that he had picked out for today. After getting ready, he said a quick goodbye to Mr. and Mrs. Min and began to walk.

  
The walk to the school seemed to take longer, knowing that every step would bring him closer to the dreaded atmosphere of school.

  
He arrived at school 10 minutes before class, at 7:50 exactly, and as he walked into the sophomore floor, Mark realized just how terrible it would be. The loud and crowded feel of the sophomore floor struck fear into him and he tried his best to avoid the anxiety by walking quickly to his locker.

  
-Period 1: English 2 (Sn203)

  
After gathering his English books, he did his best to leave the sophomore building as quick as possible and make his way to the senior building. Once arriving, the sounds of senior floor made sophomore floor seem like a good place for meditation. Everyone seemed to be yelling at each other and it managed to be even more crowded. Checking his phone, he saw there were two minutes left until the bell rang. After making his way to second floor, Mark stood quietly a few feet away from the classroom, where he noticed a pretty boy standing on his phone, next to another boy.

  
Mark’s sexuality definitely wasn’t straight. He had a few boyfriends in the past years, but none of his relationships were too serious. And after the last boyfriend, Mark wasn’t really looking to date anyone else for a while.

  
He was mesmerized by the looks of the other boy. He had golden tan skin and dyed reddish pink hair. His eyes seemed to be perfect for drawing and his lips perfect for other things. Mark was distracted by his perfect visuals. The boy suddenly looked up from his phone to Mark, causing him to look away quickly.

  
The bell rang, taking Mark by surprise and to his delight, the pink haired boy and his pretty friend walked into his English class. Each desk had a name, seeming to be organized alphabetically. After finding “Mark Lee” towards the back near a window, he took his seat. Next to him would be a “Donghyuck Lee”.

  
Quickly locating the boy from earlier, he noticed him coming closer to him. Mark’s heart skipped a beat when he sat down right next to him. Mark stared at the boy, now knowing him as Donghyuck, in awe. All of his movements seemed to be perfect, an impossibly beautiful human was sitting right next to Mark.

  
No.

  
Don’t think about others, they don’t want to know you and you won’t be hurt if you’re alone.

  
The teacher motioned everyone to be quiet and class began. As she went through the syllabus and went over the topics that they would cover this year, Mark couldn’t help but look over to Donghyuck. As class went on, he found his sketchbook to be filled with “eye study”, specifically Donghyuck’s eyes.

  
“Now class, turn to the person next to you. Introduce yourself and become acquainted with them, they will be your partner for this class.”

  
Mark looked up suddenly when he heard those words. He turned to meet those eyes that he had been drawing for the past 20 minutes.

  
“Hello, I’m Donghyuck”

  
Mark blushed at the sound of his voice and wanted to turn away, not wanting this perfect boy to have to look at someone so imperfect as him. Nevertheless, he nervously replied with “I’m Mark”

  
“Nice to meet you, are you new this year? I haven’t seen you before.”

  
“Yes I just transferred this year”

  
“Oh. What caused you to transfer?”

  
Mark was surprised by how forward Donghyuck was. Before he could think of an excuse, the teacher started talking again and their conversation ended.

  
Looking back down to his sketchbook filled with Donghyuck’s eyes, he felt conflicted in his own emotions.

  
Mark felt something for Donghyuck, and he wasn’t quite sure what it was.


	2. growing pains

His focus had been taken away from the pretty boy to the upset feeling in his stomach, phrases going through his head, and the word Minhyung.

Minhyung.

The bell rang marking the end of his English class. He ran straight to the bathrooms, knowing just what was about to happen.

 _“Come on Minhyung, don’t you love me?” Hands on his face, to his waist, to his hips. “I do love you, I don’t know if I’m ready yet” Lips on his lips. Lips on his collarbone, thumbs grazing his waist under his shirt. “You lost weight for me, Minhyung, you’re so good for me” He relaxed at the praise, weeks of starving himself had paid off. “Can you be good for me again and let me do this?” Anxiety filled him, alone with him in his room, pushed back to his boyfriend’s bed. “I can’t, please” “Be good for me, Minhyung. You love me, right?” He wanted to be good, but he couldn’t. He didn’t want to. “Be good. You love me.”_ _Hands trying to spread his thighs. “Not there, please” “Minhyung you could be so good for me.”_

Mark threw up. Memories kept coming back. Great start to his first day. His english class had ended and Mark headed straight to the bathrooms to throw up. He didn’t know what triggered all the memories, all he felt was disgusting and unlovable.

Not good enough, lose weight, be good, you love me. All words of his last boyfriend.

He didn’t really know how he ended up in that relationship. The sweet words and praises kept Mark feeling like he really meant something.

He hasn’t let anyone call him Minhyung since.

The worst part was probably that he was only with Mark since he was Korean. Some kind of ulzzang lover, treating Mark like nothing more than his body, nothing more than a pretty face. The only reason he called him Minhyung was because “Mark didn’t sound Korean enough” That alone should have been a red flag.

They never went further than a few blowjobs, Mark always throwing up afterwards. But the praise he received had him coming back.

Hated himself for being so weak, hated himself for needing validation, hated himself for needing affection, hated himself for not being able to be okay.

Mark looked at his phone, noticing that the 5 minute passing period was 3 minutes in. Fortunately, his next class, Advanced Art, was just a floor below. After rinsing with baking soda and taking a mint, he quickly walked down the stairs to one of the school’s art rooms.

After walking in he immediately recognized someone. Sicheng, the leader from transfer orientation, waved to him to sit at his table.

Not wanting to seem rude, Mark pushed away the social anxiety and sat across from Sicheng.

“Mark! I didn’t know you liked to draw. This is Ten,” he said, signaling to the boy sitting next to him, “He’s a junior and he’s only taking this class because i told him to. Jaemin should be arriving soon too, he’s a sophomore!”

Sicheng seemed overly enthusiastic, but he had a really sweet personality so that might just be how he was.

Suddenly, a boy with a radiant smile slid into the seat next to Mark while trying to catch his breath.

“My chemistry class is all the way across campus on the third floor of the freshman building! I feel close to death.” He turned to Mark and tilted his head a little. “Hey I’m Jaemin.”

Surprised at Jaemin’s friendliness, he nervously replied with an, “I’m Mark.”

Class started and like most classes on the first day of school, the small groups would introduce themselves in some sort of icebreaker activity. This one happened to be to make a collaborative drawing while talking. Mark started sketching and passed the paper to Jaemin, who added some more things to the sketch.

“So we’ve been friends for some time. Ten and I have known each other since middle school but our friend group kind of expanded over time. There’s 14 of us for now. Although Taeil graduated last year.”

Mark was intimidated by how Sicheng described the group. Was he intruding, should he have sat somewhere else? Was it a pity invite for Sicheng to invite him over?

“Are Chenle and Jisung officially in? You and Doyoung met them like two days ago at orientation and we only met them today.” Ten asked.

“Yes of course they’re in! Only if they want to be though.” “Mark you can sit with our group if you’d like, we’re friendly I promise” Jaemin said to him, passing the sketch to Ten.

“One, I already regret taking this class I’m better at literally any kind of art that isn’t drawing and two, Mark we’re really nice for the most part, as long as you’re not bigoted and all that stuff,” Ten replied while trying to add to the sketch.

Was this another pity invite? Were these people going to hurt him? Was he already straying from his promise to himself to stay away from everyone?

“You can try sitting with us for a week or two, we won’t get offended if you leave,” said Sicheng while taking the sketch from Ten.

_Whatever._

“Yeah I’d love to sit with you guys, I really need to start talking to more people.”

He regretted saying those words the moment they came out of his mouth. Anxiety was telling him they were going to hurt him, but he really wanted a new start. Maybe this new start could include some friends too? Well it was too late to back out, it would just make his anxiety worse to think about what they’d say. And they had their break right after this class, so it would make sense to just follow them and meet the group.

They presented their drawing to the class, it ended up being a few people with a landscape behind them. Their art styles really contrasted but it was done.

The bell rang and Jaemin took his hand. “I’ll introduce you to the group, except Taeil he’s off at college, but it's only a 30 minute drive to get there.”

He smiled at Jaemin’s enthusiasm, letting himself be pulled through the crowd of people to a shady spot surrounded by trees.

“This is where our group sits during lunch and break, some of us are here before and after school too. Not many other people sit here since we’ve kind of taken over.” Jaemin turned to address a large group of people, “Guys this is Mark! He’s potentially joining the group. He’s in mine, Sicheng’s and Ten’s art class and he’s really good at drawing. Please don’t scare him away we want new friends.”

Mark smiled awkwardly towards the group, and in it he spotted Donghyuck from English. Mark turned red at the presence of the pretty boy, while Jaemin pulled him around for individual introductions.

Leading him to two nervous looking boys, he said, “Mark this is Jisung and Chenle. They also only recently joined.”

Pointing at the ones who looked oldest, he said, “The seniors, Johnny, Taeyong, Yuta, and Doyoung. Everyone is waiting for Yuta and Sicheng to confess and start dating already. By the way, if you’re homophobic you should probably leave soon.”

“Oh no, I’m not homophobic or I’d be scared of myself,” Mark stuttered.

“Cool! You’ve met all but one of the juniors, and that’s Jaehyun, the one helping Sicheng with Physics homework.”

Jaemin pulled him along to where Donghyuck sat, “And finally, these are your fellow sophomores, Renjun, Jeno, and Donghyuck! We’re all pretty close.”

“Jeno is in love with Renjun and Renjun is totally oblivious to it,” whispered Jaemin to Mark.

Mark smiled to try to show interest, but really the only thing he was looking at was how Donghyuck was so concentrated on his Trigonometry work.

The bell rang, reminding Mark that it was rude to stare.

“What class do you have next?” asked Jaemin.

Mark quickly pulled out his phone to see that he had Chemistry in the Freshman building.

“Chemistry.”

“Oh really? I have that too,” said Jeno, “We can walk there together if you want to.”

Mark agreed hesitantly.  He really couldn't tell what was a pity invite anymore but there was no reason to not walk together.

The walk up to the Chemistry classroom was quiet and awkward. Mark felt as though he was intruding on Jeno’s day.

When they got to the classroom, he saw that there was free seating, and Mark immediately felt the nervousness in his stomach.

“Hey do you want to sit together?” He turned to see Jeno, sitting near the back in a corner, motioning to the seat next to him.

“Of course,” Mark replied, hoping that Jeno didn’t hear the shaking in his voice. Jeno smiled a beautiful eye smile to him.

_Your newfound friends will do nothing but hurt you._

He dug his nails into his wrist to try to get the anxiety to leave.

_They’re not going to hurt me._

“Don’t hurt me,” Mark mumbled under his breath, barely loud enough for Jeno to hear.

“What?”

His heart skipped a beat, but his teacher thankfully started the class so he didn’t have to explain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> really sorry for not updating in a long time!! i know theres like 3 people reading but still. ive been super busy with my studies and haven't been able to finish this chapter. i know im saying this kind of late but vote nct127 as best male performance!!  
> (title is Growing Pains-ASTRO)


	3. With You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeno is gay also Mark wants dyed hair again  
> \--  
> Chapter title is With You-ASTRO

Mark looked at the corner of his laptop screen, 8 minutes left until his next class. He did not want to be in this classroom a second longer.

He had never been particularly fond of science, or at least the science classes he had taken up until now. Chemistry was no exception. Although the period had consisted only of going over the syllabus and doing random icebreakers with Jeno, he could tell he wouldn’t enjoy the class too much.

5 minutes left.

The shuffling of bags and folders being put away caused their teacher to say, “We still have a few minutes left don’t pack up yet.”

3 minutes left.

“Mark what class do you have next?”

“AP Calculus in the junior building”

“Woah really? Jaemin might have that too, he’s really good at math. He tested into Trig Honors last year. Donghyuck and I tested into Algebra 2 and Renjun tested into Algebra 2 honors.”

Mark felt himself blush at the mention of Donghyuck’s name.

“What do you have?”

“Free period,” he said while the bell rang marking the end of the period, “Can I walk with you to Calculus, I think Doyoung might be in that class too I need to ask him something.”

“Yeah,” Mark hesitated before adding, “Does the group have anywhere you sit together during free period because mine is next and I feel like I don’t know anyone.”

_I made it sound like I’m forcing my way in._

“Yeah just our usual spot, there’s a lot of us so chances are, someone has the same free period as you.”

The walk to the junior floor was short, and when he walked in, he was greeted by Jaemin’s smiling face, gesturing for him to come over and sit in the same group as him and Doyoung.

“Hyung!”

Jeno ran over to Doyoung and suddenly started speaking very quickly in Korean, Doyoung laughed then replied with something about Renjun. Mark understood Korean quite well, and he would be taking Korean here too.

Jaemin looked to him and said, “Sorry we sometimes slip into Korean when we’re nervous or don’t want others to know what we’re talking about. I didn’t want to make assumptions, but are you Korean? Your last name is Lee.”

“Yeah I speak Korean too. Jeno spoke really quickly though, I didn’t catch it all. Was it something about Renjun?”

Jaemin laughed and replied with, “Yeah he noticed he’s the only one in the group who has free period 4, except for Renjun. His feelings are getting the best of him.”

The bell rung and Doyoung said to Jeno, “You should probably go, good luck getting the boy!”

Jeno sprinted out of the classroom, almost tripping on his way out.

As class began, the teacher provided an icebreaker for the students. “Tell your group a quick run through of your life up until now.”

“I can go first,” said Doyoung, while brushing the purple hair away from his eyes, “My brother and I moved here to live with our aunt when I was 5 years old, I met Taeyong in my second grade class, we’ve been best friends ever since. My brother is away at college so it's just my aunt and I at home. I attend therapy every other Wednesday and I’ve never had a cavity.”

Doyoung looked to Mark, and he suddenly forgot how to speak. “Uh, well I moved here when I was 14, and I was supposed to take AP Calculus last year but my credits didn’t transfer, I-”

“Why didn’t your credits transfer?” asked Jaemin, genuinely concerned about Mark taking Calculus a second time.

Mark felt anxiety wash over him, remembering everything from last year all at once, “Well there was some things with mental health and I just couldn’t pass the class,” he said, hoping he was vague enough so that they couldn’t figure out anything else.

“Ah”

“Yeah, and I’m- uh- I was born in Canada but we moved here when I was really young.”

“Nice,” said Jaemin while smiling brightly his way, “I’ve lived here my whole life, but I travel to visit Korea a lot since most of my family lives there. I met Jeno in 1st grade and we instantly became best friends. There was a while last year when our parents thought we were dating because we would have sleepovers so often and we went to Korea together twice.”

Mark couldn’t stop thinking about him mentioning his mental health. It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the thing that directly affected his grades the most.

Was it giving out too much information?

Did it sound like he was asking for attention?

Doyoung mentioned his therapy schedule but was it still too much?

Jaemin probably already knew Doyoung was going to therapy but maybe Mark giving that information out was just too much for introductions.

The rest of class went on like that, Mark writing down important things from the syllabus and overthinking what he had said.

“Okay we have 3 minutes left, you can start packing up and leave when the bell rings.”

“Hey Jaemin,” Mark asked, ignoring the anxious feeling in his stomach, “Do you know who has free period 5, because I have it next.”

“Yes I do know! Donghyuck and I have it next. I think Chenle and Jisung do too, but they might have said they had it sixth.”

Mark didn’t hear much after Jaemin mentioned Donghyuck, all he really heard was that he had another class with him. Mark’s heart felt immediate nervousness then regret.

He shouldn’t be thinking about being in a relationship yet, especially when he knew that based on the last one, it would most likely not end up going so well. But his curiosity was getting the best of him.

While walking down to their spot, Mark couldn’t help but ask, “You said that a few people had feelings for each other and stuff, does that happen often?”

Was he being too obvious or did that sound smooth enough?

“Well things are bound to happen when all of us are gay, lonely teenagers. I’ll never be able to forget 7th grade when Renjun and I walked into Doyoung’s room after his brother let us into the house. He and Taeyong had their tongues halfway down the other’s throat. They weren’t actually dating it was just experimenting between friends I guess. Taeyong and Taeil have been dating since Taeyong was a sophomore and I did date Jeno once in 8th grade but that was weird and that ended up being how I found out I was greyromantic.”

“Sorry for asking so many questions, but no one else has dated anyone or had crushes on anyone?”

Was he being too obvious?

“I mean Jeno has his huge crush on Renjun and Yuta and Sicheng are very obviously a little more than friends but not quite boyfriends, but not any serious crushes. There’s of course that thing where no one really knows what Ten and Johnny are and sometimes you think “Wow this person is cute”, but as far as I know, no one has incredibly serious crushes. Why do you ask?”

_You really were obvious. Now he knows you’re having thoughts about Donghyuck and you’ve lost any opportunity of friendship you ever had with these people._

_Shame._

“No reason in particular,” said Mark, trying to play it off as just simple curiosity, “So you dated Jeno?”, he asked trying to make it seem as if he really was just curious.

“I did, but it was just a middle school relationship. It lasted a few months but we never really did anything more than kiss and hold hands. Eventually we ended it because neither of us were really comfortable and now we’re just really close friends who sometimes kiss.”

Mark nodded, and he saw that they were quickly approaching their spot, noticing Donghyuck casually talking to two boys who seemed a little nervous.

Mark recognized them to be Jisung and Chenle.

“Hey! Mark has free period too, but I have a counseling meeting so I’ll see you guys at lunch.”

With that, Jaemin dropped his bags, and quickly left to the counselor’s offices. Mark’s feeling of comfort left the moment Jaemin walked off to the counselor’s offices. He sat near the small group, not wanting to look like he was intruding.

Donghyuck suddenly turned to him and said, “Mark have you ever dyed your hair?”

Dyed hair.

_“Minhyung, I still think you should have dyed it a brighter purple,” he said while running his hands through Mark’s newly dyed hair, “But this will do I guess.”_

_Mark loved it._

_He was truly happy that he was able to have some sort of choice in his hair color, even though his boyfriend had told him to make it purple._

“Mark?”

Donghyuck’s light voice shook him back to reality.

“Sorry, spaced out for a moment. I had it dark purple a while ago.”

With Mark’s words, Donghyuck excitedly yelled out, “See!! Dyed hair is superior, if either of you ever want it a different color, call me. I love dyeing other people’s hair.”

Without thinking, Mark said, “I’ve actually been wanting to dye my hair again but I don’t really know what color.”

He saw Donghyuck’s face light up with excitement, “I can lighten it for you if you don’t want something too different! If you want to do purple again I can do that! I think you’d look cute in a dark blue too!”

_Did he just say I’d look cute In dark blue?_

With his heart beating out of his chest, he nervously replied with, “I’ll think about the dark blue.” Donghyuck gave him a smile and returned to scrolling through Tumblr.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look at me, actually updating and writing  
> ive actually been wanting to dye my hair for a while  
> also is anyone else dying because of astro's comeback?? they deserve so much more recognition  
> \--  
> thanks for reading!


	4. Pretty Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ten out of ten changed daancey’s name to smol bby #1  
> ten out of ten changed clelefairy’s name to smol bby #2  
> ten out of ten changed marklee’s name to p r e double t y

“Hey there gays what are the plans for the weekend?” said Johnny, arriving a little late since he was microwaving his lunch.

“Nice to see you too Johnny, and I don’t know? It’s only Wednesday.” said Ten, while Johnny’s arm wrapped around his waist.

“Text the group chat later, we can figure it out,” replied Sicheng, through bites of rice.

“Finish chewing before speaking, Sicheng” said Doyoung, looking up from his phone.

Sicheng swallowed his food before saying, “Sorry mom, but actually just text the chat later? We can probably have a massive back to school sleepover again this year.”

Taeyong suddenly spoke up, saying, “Mark, Chenle, and Jisung aren’t in the chat yet, someone add them.”

_Have I actually made friends?_

_That promise to myself lasted a good 3 seconds._

Mark felt something poke him and turned to see Jaemin handing him his phone.

“Add yourself to my contacts so I can add you to the group chat.”

 

**the real cool kids of the school B)**

**ten out of ten** : i assume @marklee is mark but who is jisung and chenle out of @clelefairy and @daancey

 **daancey** : ok so i made this account about 3 years ago but this is jisung

 **clelefairy** : which means i am chenle (=^ ◡ ^=)

 **ten out of ten** : cool get ready for induction into the group (new nicknames)

 

ten out of ten changed daancey’s name to baby chick

ten out of ten changed clelefairy’s name to baby dolphin

ten out of ten changed marklee’s name to p r e double t y

 

Mark blushed at how Ten had called him pretty.

“Aw Mark is blushing,” he heard Jaemin say from next to him, “Mark you’re so cute!”

“You look even prettier when you blush.”

Mark felt his heart stop when he noticed that it was Donghyuck who had said that.

“Thank you,” he managed to utter out while trying to calm down.

Lunch ended shortly and the group dispersed to their next classes, Mark heading to his Korean 3 class next to Jisung and Sicheng.

Mark was impressed with Jisung, since most freshmen only managed to test into Korean 2 even if they had spoken it for most of their life. Sicheng didn’t know much Korean coming into high school, so he started out at Korean 1.

The class flew by, with the usual ice breakers and syllabus talk, but Mark felt himself slowly getting more tired because of how much unplanned social interaction he had done. He usually prepared himself at the start of the day but he felt his head begin to hurt and his stomach upset. He really did not want to go to his last class, World History.

Arriving to his classroom, he saw that there was free seating. He slowly made his way to the back of the class and put his head down before feeling someone poke his arm. He jolted up to see that it was just Jeno.

“Sorry if I startled you,” he said, running his hands nervously through his hair, “but is it okay if I sit next to you?”

“Yeah of course, sorry it’s been a really long day.”

Jeno slid into the seat next to him, “Want to talk about it? We have a few minutes before class starts.”

“Guess I’m just tired. Didn’t expect to be meeting many people today. Or really anyone at all.”

“I see how that could be overwhelming,” Jeno said while sending him a smile, “We won’t get offended if you need to sit out during break or lunch. Everyone has those days where talking to people is just hard.”

“Thanks. I’ll just better prepare myself for tomorrow.”

“Don’t forget to prepare yourself for whatever the others will plan this weekend. It’ll be a lot of social interaction.” Seeing the anxious look that went over Mark, he quickly added, “But of course you don’t have to go. And if you do, you can take a few moments to yourself to feel better or leave early if it starts to get to you.”

Mark weakly smiled back at him, before the bell rang and their class started. He struggled with keeping his head up as class went on, looking back at the clock every few minutes, waiting for class to end.

At last, there were 3 minutes left in the day and his classmates began to put away their things.

“Mark are your parents picking you up?”

 _Not my parents, really_.

“No I’m walking.”

“I don’t really think you should be walking, you seem really tired, you were shaking this whole class, maybe ask Johnny to take you home? He takes lots of us home.”

“I don’t want to bother him.”

“You won’t be a bother. You must live pretty close if you can walk back, I’ll even ask him for you if you’d like.”

Seeing as he felt weak when standing, he decided it would be best that Johnny took him home. Jeno took hold of his hand and led him to the group’s usual spot, where Jeno yelled out to Johnny. “Johnny, do you have space in your car for one more?”

“I have space, who needs a ride home?”

“Can you drop Mark off, too? He’s supposed to walk home but he’s not feeling well right now.”

“Of course, Mark send me your address? I’ll add you to today’s route.”

Mark sent Johnny a private message on his address, along with thanking him for driving him home.

Jeno turned to Mark saying, “Johnny’s really sweet to all of us. He’s the oldest now that Taeil’s gone, and he’s always been one for offering to drive us around.”

Mark nodded, then asked, “Who else is Johnny taking today?”, both hoping and not hoping that Jeno would say Donghyuck.

“I think it’s just you, me, Sicheng and he’s dropping Jaemin and Ten off at their dance class.”

After a few minutes of waiting, Ten arrived. They started walking over to Johnny’s car, Jeno still holding Mark’s hand.

After putting their bags in the back, Johnny started driving to Ten and Jaemin’s studio, since their class started at 3:00. Resting his head on Jeno’s shoulder, he felt himself becoming a lot calmer and tired. The car stopped at the dance studio, Johnny waiting for Ten and Jaemin to leave. Jaemin kissed Jeno on the head before saying, “I’ll text you after class Jeno. It was nice meeting you today Mark.” He smiled brightly to both of them and left with Ten.

“Mark, don’t fall asleep, I think your house is closest.”

It was hard to not fall asleep with Jeno playing with his hair softly, but he sat up to avoid becoming more tired.

After a few minutes of driving, Johnny stopped the car and Mark looked to see that they were right outside his house.

He slowly got his things from the back and thanked Johnny. Jeno smiled at him and his eyes went into crescent moon shapes. Mark waved at him and walked towards his door. His hands shook while unlocking the door, but once he got in he was greeted with an empty house.

The clock read 3:17 and he knew he’d be alone until 5pm.

Walking to his room with a glass of water in his hand, he put his bag down near his desk and lied down on his bed. He felt himself slowly falling asleep before his vibrating phone woke him back up.

 

>the real cool kids of the school B) (7)<

 

7 new messages from this chat and school had only ended less than an hour ago. Mark opened the chat to see that it was just a few of them debating whether to have a potluck dinner or a sleepover this year.

Still feeling incredibly tired, he decided to not reply, instead overthinking whether or not they actually wanted to be friends with him and if he should even go to whatever the group will end up planning. Rolling over in his bed and putting his phone aside, he continued contemplating until he eventually fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow i haven't updated in so long  
> i feel like this chapter could have been so much better but my writing will hopefully continue improving as this fic goes on  
> school is kind of taking up most of my time but im on break now (happy thanksgiving) so i got around to writing something.
> 
> chapter title is Pretty Boy by Taemin


	5. Awake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Painting and sad boys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!!  
> Look at me updating more than once every 3 years.  
> Theres a few moments in the group chat and i wanted to give them nicknames and even though only 5? of them talk this chapter I made a reference which is in the notes at the end of the chapter  
> Theres a little part that is centered around Chenle he has his own tragic backstory (tm) that will be revealed in future chapters. Also the ending is not sexual, they are showing affection platonically, miss me with that sexualizing minors  
> Thank you for reading!  
> (chapter title is Awake by BTS Jin)

4:53pm

Did he really sleep for almost two hours?  He took a deep breath out of disappointment for himself and reached towards his phone.  After turning it on, he saw that the friend group chat had given him 23 more messages.  He opened it, hoping they had finally decided on what to have this weekend.

The last few messages confirmed that they had decided on some mix of a sleepover potluck dinner directly after school on Friday.

 

 **angel bunny** : okay so is everyone okay with a sleepover potluck dinner and then just a group hangout at a place which is tba~~ for most of saturday?

 

This was going to take a lot of emotional preparation.

That is, if he was included.

 

 **jello** : real quick where is the sleepover?

 **TY track** : thats also tba apparently, well ask later when everyone is talking in the group

 **angel bunny** : children i know youre always on your phones pls reply if you think you can go

 

Within the next few minutes it was confirmed that Taeyong, Jeno, Johnny, Donghyuck, Renjun, Sicheng, and Jisung would be able to go.  Doyoung assumed the rest were busy and reply later.

Mark hesitated before sending: “I can go too.”

He turned off his phone, trying to not let the anxiety get to him while pulling out his laptop to start on whatever homework his teachers had assigned.

\--

About an hour later, his phone started receiving messages, a lot at once.

Reaching for his phone, he assumed that the rest of the group was online now.  His assumptions were confirmed when he saw that all 17 of the new messages were from the group chat.

 

 **nana** : i think renjun’s house is the biggest? we had our holiday party there last year right?

 **moominluvr** : my parents are holding their charity function thing this weekend and they dont want a mess,,, and we will make a mess

 **ten out of ten** : wow is that what its like to b rich

 **moominluvr** : ur parents r literally going

 **baby dolphin** : hi sorry, my house is really large too!

 **baby chick** : i can confirm someone could get lost in there

 

The conversation went on and after a few more minutes, the location of the sleepover was confirmed to be Chenle’s house.  Quickly deciding to risk it all and go to the sleepover, he stood up and left his room.

Mark walked into the living room, where he found Mrs. Min reading and drinking tea.

He took a deep breath before saying, “Hi, sorry for interrupting, but I got to talk to a few people today and they’re having a sleepover party this weekend I wanted to ask if I could go?”

“Minhyung, of course.  I’m glad you were able to make friends today.”

He visibly jumped at the mention of his Korean name, but did his best to smile back at her.  He hadn’t told them to stop calling him by his Korean name since they weren’t aware that he was in a relationship, let alone an abusive one.

“Thank you.”

He walked back to his room and went back to try to finish the rest of his work, while at the same time getting distracted by Tumblr.  He was able to finish quickly, since not much was assigned on the first day.

Seeing that he had time to himself, he got his watercolor sketchbook from his bed and started doing a study of lips based on the lips he had seen during his English class this morning.

Blushing as he added color, he turned to a new page to try to paint something that wasn’t Donghyuck.  After a few hours of painting, he decided to put his paints and sketchbook away and began to try to sleep.

\--

Chenle woke up crying from the constant nightmare he had most nights.  He felt at his legs, his stomach, his chest, his neck, his face.  Nothing, no one, was on him except for the tears on his cheeks.  With weak legs, he slowly got up from his bed and got his phone from where his charger was.

Wiping the tears from his eyes, he went to Jisung’s contact and called him, not expecting him to pick up since it was 3 in the morning.

It rang twice before Chenle heard Jisung’s comforting voice say a tired, “Chenle? Are you okay?”

The sound of his best friend’s voice sent him back to tears, with a concerned voice saying, “Did you have the bad dream again? Please say something.”

“Jisung I can’t sleep I’m too scared.  I don’t want anything bad to happen to me while I’m sleeping, I don’t want it to happen again,” he replied quietly between small gasps.

“Did you have a bad dream, I’m really sorry Chenle you have to sleep we have school in a few hours.”

“I don’t want to be alone, I’m too scared to close my eyes again.”

“You don’t have to be alone hold on.”

Jisung cut off the call shortly, leaving Chenle shaking in the dark.  The few minutes that passed by felt so much longer than they were.  He felt his eyes getting more tired but his paranoia keeping him from going back to bed.  He refreshed Instagram over and over, hoping something new would come up and help to distract him enough, but not much was being posted.

After a while of refreshing his social media, he heard a knock at his window and felt his heart drop.  He was back, he was going to get hurt, he wasn’t safe.  His hands shook so much that he ended up dropping his phone.  After getting closer to his window he saw Jisung in his pajamas, shaking and holding his school bag.

After Chenle opened his window, Jisung climbed in to say, “You don’t have to be alone tonight I’ll sleep with you.”

Tears left his eyes for the third time last night as Jisung held him, leading him back to bed.  Jisung held him in his arms as his crying eventually slowed down and fell asleep.  Once he made sure Chenle was asleep, Jisung let himself fall asleep too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ten: ten out of ten  
> Chenle: baby dolphin  
> Jisung: baby chick  
> Mark: p r e double t y  
> Doyoung: angel bunny  
> Jeno: jello  
> Taeyong: TY track  
> Jaemin: nana  
> Renjun: moominluvr  
> Taeil: adult  
> Johnny: jhonnie  
> Donghyuck: gaymer bf  
> Sicheng: dance dance baby  
> Yuta: sicheng enthusiast  
> Jaehyun: estelle american boy  
> If anyone has any suggestions to better nicknames please comment these are all kind of bad  
> 


	6. Chill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AP Calculus makes Mark anxious but for different reasons.  
> Jaemin is soft with Mark.

He felt arms wrapped around his waist, but these wouldn’t hurt him.  He felt lips resting on his forehead, but these would ask if it was okay first.  Jisung wasn’t here to cause him pain.  The thoughts of last night didn’t bother him when Jisung was next to him.

Jisung was the only one who knew what had happened to him, and Jisung understood.  Chenle considered himself lucky to have him, especially since he was always willing to make him feel better, going so far as to sneaking out on a school night at 3am to help him get back to sleep.

Noticing that he was waking up, he whispered, “Jisungie, wake up we have school,”

Jisung scrunched up his nose and opened his eyes, “Were you able to sleep?”

\--

Mark woke up, feeling tired and filled with nothing but the want to stay in bed longer.  Although he felt tired, he still didn’t want to be late, hurrying to change and walk to school.

Upon arrival, he walked around a few times, unsure if he should sit where the group had said he could sit.  At his third lap, he heard someone calling his name.  Turning around, he noticed it was Jaemin running towards him.  He felt some anxiety go away.

Jaemin smiled at him widely when he caught up to him and started leading him in the direction of the rest of the group.  Mark felt a little less nervous knowing he wasn’t going alone.

Arriving to the group’s usual spot, Mark saw Doyoung, Sicheng, Renjun, and Johnny already there.  He wasn’t expecting many people to be there since there was still half an hour left until school started.

Jaemin pulled him down to sit next to him, and put his head on Mark’s shoulder.  Although Mark wasn’t used to this much physical contact, it didn’t bother him that Jaemin was affectionate, even if they had just met the day before.  He even enjoyed it a little.

As time went by, more of the group started arriving, with Jisung and Chenle arriving together first.  About 15 minutes before class started, Ten arrived.  Doyoung saw that everyone had gotten to school and finally decided to ask, “So is everyone going on Friday? Please bring some food since it is going to be a potluck dinner, and we haven’t really decided what to do the day after but we’ll probably just mess around for most of Saturday.”

“I assume you guys need a ride, I’m willing to make two trips if it's necessary just text me later or something,” said Johnny, suddenly speaking up after being attached to Ten the moment he arrived.

Mark made a mental note to ask Johnny later, since he still got anxiety when driving, from being in power over too much.

“Since we’re trying to get a lot of people over, Taeyong, Yuta, and I will also be driving so we all arrive at relatively the same time.  Taeil said he would be able to go too, even if he is graduated and actually old.” said Doyoung, since Johnny’s comment had reminded him of the transportation situation.

After Doyoung finished up his words, the bell rang and everyone started walking off to their classes, Mark heading to English, but walking a little behind Renjun and Donghyuck, in an attempt to give them space.

School was starting to get into it’s routine, and although it was only the second day, classes were beginning to get a lot more rigorous.  He felt a lot more comfortable around Jaemin, something about his voice making him feel like he was okay.  Fortunately, he had two classes with Jaemin today.  Unfortunately, one of them happened to be AP Calc.

The second day meant introductions to the class were over, they would start doing some real learning now.  Mark saw the familiar numbers and formulas on his notes, he remembered it all.

He remembered his classroom, he remembered the positive beginning and his love for math, he remembered his falling grades and his failing relationship, his indifference to the subject a few months in, his anxiety over whether or not he would make it through the year.

And he hadn’t.

He was here again because he failed, he couldn’t do it.  He was worth nothing.

He felt himself getting progressively more anxious as the class went on, despite it being at the end of the day.  He felt his ex-boyfriend’s hands all over him, giving him the validation he needed after his failures, only for the same hands to throw him down, to tell him he was worth nothing, he meant nothing.

Quickly asking to leave, Mark went to the nearest restroom and stood in the corner, waiting for the horrible feelings to pass.

They would pass.

After a few minutes of trying to calm down, Mark returned to his classroom, not wanting to fail again.  He wouldn’t be worthless this year.

\--

2:45pm

End of the day at last.

“Mark are you okay,” asked Doyoung, while putting away his notes, “You left halfway through class uncontrollably shaking and came back barely being able to breathe.”

_ Fuck he noticed. _

“Yeah sorry, I’m fine I was just having a moment.”

“Anxiety out of being overwhelmed?” Jaemin guessed.

“Something like that.”

Mark walked down to their usual spot with Jaemin, before Johnny called out to him.

“Hey Mark do you need a ride today too?”

_ Well why the fuck not _

_ I’ll tell you why not, you’re being a burden to him again _ .

“Yeah, sure thank you.”

_ Burden. _

Mark shook the words out of his head, turning to Jaemin to ask, “Is Johnny taking you to dance class today?”

“Not to dance class, but he is taking Jeno and Ten to dance.  Ten does dance most days but Jeno and I only go twice a week.  Sicheng dances too, but he has a private mentor.  But Johnny is taking me home today.  Do you do any type of art?”

“Well I paint and draw but I’m not very good at it.  I did dance but I haven’t been in a few weeks.”

They heard Johnny call them over, alerting them that they were about to leave.

In the car, Mark felt Jaemin get really close to him before asking, “Is this okay?”

“Yeah,” he replied, accepting the affectionate action, returning it too.

The rest of the car ride went on like that, Mark almost falling asleep with Jaemin’s arm around his waist, resting his head on his shoulder.  

Before he knew it, Johnny had arrived outside his house, Jaemin kissing his forehead lightly before he left.

Mark went into his house and sat at his desk to do homework, anxious out of anticipation for tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had this chapter ready for about a week but I don't know why I never posted it. But it's here now! I hope you guys enjoy it even though it's a little short.  
> I'll start getting in the habit of updating once a week  
> (chapter title is Chill by EXO)


	7. Her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sleepover is here! Some Jaemin backstory and dyeing hair!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> I'm sorry for being gone for so long, writing has been harder after Jonghyun's death, it affected me harshly and it's still hard to accept. I'm sure a lot of you feel the same way and I hope you all end up feeling well eventually but I managed to write this!  
> I'm planning on having the sleepover split up into two chapters

_ Windy Friday mornings, aren’t summers supposed to be warm? _ , Jaemin thinks to himself, carrying two backpacks, one carrying his books and laptop, the other containing things he’d need for tonight’s sleepover, which happened to include a few pads.

Leaving his sleepover bag in his locker, he walked over to his usual spot, noticing that only Jeno was there.  He didn’t expect anyone else, since he had arrived unusually early that morning.

But he had woken up to an unpleasant surprise.  

He fell asleep with a small pain in his stomach and his chest hurting more than usual.  He assumed it was just because he had a lot more than usual for dinner and had been binding for too long, but the stain he found in the morning was the reminder that he wasn’t like the rest of his friends.  And not all of them knew he was different.

Jeno was one that knew, since they had known each other for longer than they had known the rest of the group.  Back when Jaemin was called Soomin, they met in a ballet class, partnered together for their firsst recital.  After finding out that they attended the same school, they became inseparable, and told the other everything.  Jaemin told Jeno to call him Jaemin in 5th grade, and the transfer to a new school for 6th grade gave Jaemin the opportunity to introduce himself the way he wanted.

Everyone saw him as male, since that was what they had always known him as, but the way his parents pushed his insecurities made getting his period an especially hard time for Jaemin.

_ “Mama, there’s so much blood what’s wrong with me,” he said, crying. _

_ “Soomin, it’s time you accept you’re a girl.  This is proof right here.  This doesn’t happen to boys.” _

_ \-- _

_ “Dad you always said you wanted a boy,” he said between sobs, “I thought you’d be happy.” _

_ “I said I wanted a boy, not a freak.” _

He felt Jeno’s arm go around his waist, his head leaning to rest on Jaemin’s shoulder.

“Nana, what’s wrong?”

“It came this morning.”

Jeno gave Jaemin a confused look before realizing what “it” was referring to.

Jeno proceeded to give him a concerned look, before pulling him close and stroking his hair gently saying, “Angel, I’m so sorry.  Did your parents say anything?  Did you bring painkillers?  Pads?  Do you want me to ask Doyoung to drive us to Target, we can get things there.”

The questions sent Jaemin to tears, “They’re all going to know, they won’t like it Jeno I’m not like them.”

“Love, think about it rationally please?  Doyoung was okay with it.  So were Renjun and Donghyuck and Sicheng.  You don’t have to tell the rest of them, but know that they see you as Jaemin, and if they happened to find out, it wouldn’t change their opinion on you.”

Jaemin shook at the thought of his friends finding out the truth.

Jeno kissed his lips softly before saying, “Angel, it’s going to be okay.  Tonight is going to be great.  You have the first period free, so you can rest.”

\--

“Minhyung remember to just text us if you need anything, stay safe and take your medication!”

Mark nodded and said goodbye to Mrs. Min.  She had taken him to school today since he was carrying a lot more than he usually did.  It had been a long time since he had been to a sleepover, so he spent about an hour looking up “what to take to sleepovers” and “what happens at sleepovers”.

He would be fine.

The day went by a lot quicker than Mark expected, probably due to the fact that he really only had two classes, nothing out of the ordinary happening, other than Jaemin seeming more tired.  The last 20 minutes of his history class with Jeno seemed to go on forever, both waiting for the day to end and to head over to Chenle’s house, to begin the weekend.  Mark didn’t know what to expect, his research didn’t bring him any results that might alert him on what was happening.  While their teacher asked them to do partner work, Mark took the opportunity to ask, “This is a really weird question but what exactly happens at these sleepovers?”

_ I sound like a loser who has never had a friend in his life.  Not far from the truth I guess. _

“Don’t worry, it’s not a weird question.  I’m honestly surprised you agreed since I thought you would run away when you found out how strange of a group we are.  There’s the usual watching random movies, lots of affection, weird sleepover games we find online, sharing strange secrets at 4am.  Donghyuck somehow convinces someone to let him dye their hair and it leads to all of us going to the store and the employees having to deal with about a dozen teens who came for hair dye and ended up buying so much more.  Ten and Taeyong have a dance-off in the parking lot or Renjun somehow convinces Sicheng to teach him complicated traditional dances.  Really just your regular depressed teens trying to have a good time together.  It really is a good time.”

The amount of information dropped on him at once put anxiety back into him.  Jeno noticed this and added, “If you feel uncomfortable at any point, one of the hyungs can take you home, we won’t judge.”

“Sorry it’s just been a really long time since I had a sleepover and I’ve never had one this large, it’s all very overwhelming.”

Their teacher started talking again, leading Jeno to whisper, “If you need a break from the atmosphere you can tell me and we can go someplace quiet for a moment so you can gather yourself.”

Mark nodded back at him, 7 minutes until the weekend.

\--

The chaos had begun, everyone was holding multiple bags and Doyoung stood over them all, trying to get a count like a mother taking care of her babies.

“Chenle? Your driver is picking up you, Jisung, and Renjun right?”

Chenle nodded, both he and Jisung not holding anything other than their school bags since Chenle’s house was the location.

“Jaehyun, baby, I’m taking you, Sicheng, and Jeno.”

Sicheng seemed to be the only other one to catch onto the pet name, giving Jaehyun a look as to say “Tell me later?”

“Taeyong and Yuta are going together, and Johnny? You’re taking Ten, Jaemin, Mark, and Donghyuck.  Is that everyone?”

Taeyong ran his fingers through his fading pink hair and said, “Yes Doyoungie, can we all go now?”

Doyoung sighed and finally said, “Okay you guys can go.  Stay safe okay? We meet at Chenle’s house.  It should only be a 15ish minute drive.”

Mark felt someone touch his hand, turning to see Jaemin’s smile.

“Jaemin are you feeling okay today?  You seem a little tired.”

Mark saw the smile almost fade before regaining its initial effulgence, “It's exactly what you said, just feeling a little tired from the transition of going back to school.”

Mark looked at him, not quite believing that it was the whole reason, but just squeezed his hand instead of pressing on about things that Jaemin might not feel comfortable talking about.

The car ride was unfortunately short, not giving Mark enough time to even think about talking to Donghyuck, but he was sure he would have a chance to later.  Once they arrived at Chenle’s house, he suddenly understood what Jisung meant by “someone could get lost in there”

“Woah this place is even bigger than Renjun’s.  Yuta’ll get lost looking for the bathroom or something,” said Donghyuck, eyes open wide in shock at the expanse of the place of residence.  

“Don’t talk about hyung like that when he’s not around to defend himself, carry your things in, Donghyuckie,” replied Ten, pushing him lightly as a way to playfully reprimand the younger.  Donghyuck forged an angry face at Ten, before replacing it with a bright smile and taking his two bags from the back of Johnny’s car, “I thought you were in love with Johnny not Yuta, are we bringing it back to your 7th grade year now?”

“Hey, no need to bring back seventh grade, I don’t know why I let you dye my hair black and red that year but I say that’s the reason Yuta didn’t have feelings for me.”

“Or Sicheng transferred in that year.”

Mark and Jaemin laughed as the two continued to jokingly argue until eventually Johnny noted that Doyoung’s car was pulling in and they should hurry up.

“Sorry I didn’t tell you the full story about how our group came to be, but Taeil will probably tell it to us like a grandfather tonight,” said Jaemin, while passing Mark’s bags to him, “It’s honestly pretty entertaining and our group just keeps growing.”

Mark nodded, anticipating this origin story that he had only heard small bits of up until now, “Who was the last person to join?”

“Renjun moved here the second semester of eighth grade, and Jeno thought he was cute so we made the biggest effort to befriend him.  Donghyuck was the one to get along with him the most and eventually brought him into our group.  Oh, speaking of which,” Jaemin ended his sentence as they saw Jisung, Chenle, and Renjun walking towards them, cueing Donghyuck to run towards his friend excitedly.  The two exchanged a few words before Donghyuck pushed Renjun softly for him to bump into Chenle, leading to Renjun apologizing excessively.

“Alright Chenle are we going to get a tour or how will we even know where we’re going,” asked Taeyong as the rest of the group finally arrived.

“You joke but it’s actually going to happen, or you will actually get lost forever in this place,” replied Jisung, “I’ve known Chenle for forever and his house still seems like an endless maze.  Especially since his parents remodeled the place a year ago, it was unrecognizable for at least a month.”

“You just get used to it after a while.”

Chenle invited them all in, briefly showing them around to the kitchens, dining hall, living room, touching on where to find a bathroom.  He eventually led to the room they’d all be staying in, mentioning that they could move outside if they wanted to, and that there was a few stores nearby if they needed to go somewhere.

With the end of the short tour, everyone began settling in, changing into more casual clothing and the chaos began.

Sicheng and Ten put on some cliche teen movie, with Jaehyun bargaining for a horror movie next.  Doyoung and Taeil began bickering over what to cook and everyone was extremely hyperactive, waiting for their meals and watching High School Musical.

“Mark I’ll be right back I have to use the bathroom,” said Jaemin, looking nervous and quickly running out of the room, leaving Mark standing awkwardly alone.  He flinched as someone tugged at his sleeve, and turned around to see Donghyuck, waiting to ask him, “Mark we should dye your hair tonight.”

_ This is what Jeno meant by Donghyuck convincing someone to dye their hair. _

_ Might as well. _

“Sure, I think I’ll go with blue.”

His approval of the idea made Donghyuck a lot more excited, “Okay!  I’ll ask to go to the store later and we can get hair dye on the way there.”

Jaemin suddenly returned, looking a lot calmer than from when he first left, “Has Donghyuckie convinced someone to let him dye their hair yet,” he teased.

“Yeah! I’m dyeing Mark’s hair later tonight.”

Jaemin noticed the blush taking over Mark’s face and gave him a knowing look, “I’m sure Ten will try to talk Mark out of it.”

“Listen that was one time, and Ten was the one to pick those colors.”

Ten’s voice was suddenly heard, yelling, “Did you convince Mark to dye his hair?  Mark don’t do it, he doesn’t know what he’s doing.”

“That was two years ago!  And I do know what I’m doing my hair looks fine and Taeyong hyung’s hair looks fine even though he refuses to redo it!”

Jaemin pulls Mark away from the argument, not wasting time by asking, “So Donghyuck?”

“Well, what about him?” Mark replies, nervously.

“You like him don’t you?”

“Don’t say it too loudly, he’ll hear you!”

“Oh you do!  I thought you’d just deny it but now that you’ve exposed yourself we can work with this, yes.” he said, clapping his hands together.

“No- what?  Jaemin we’re barely friends there’s nothing to work with.”

“Look he’s going to dye your hair tonight and probably realize he’s in love with you, don't worry I’m sure he’s already fond of you.  I won’t tell him.”

Before Mark could object, Doyoung called out that dinner was ready to be served.  He walked into the dining hall, finding a place to sit between Jaemin and Jisung.  The food in front of them looked appetizing and more than Mark had expected at a sleepover between high school students.

“Doyoung is really good at cooking, Taeil tries to be but could be better,” whispered Jaemin.

“How long did it take them to make all this?  They were only in here for a little over two hours?”

“Doyoung always preps the night before, he loves cooking and we love eating what he makes.”

Doyoung’s loud voice cut through the side conversations, “Okay everyone Taeil and I worked hard for this meal, so please enjoy it.  We have kalguksu, baked potatoes, plain rice, galbi, fried chicken, yukgaejang, hard boiled eggs, and mandu.  We also ordered a pizza for later tonight.”

The second Doyoung sat back down, the race to get food began.  Mark noticed how some ate more than others, Jaemin being one to get a lot less.

“Jaemin, you aren’t eating much?” Jeno asked, through bites of rice and egg.

“My stomach hurts a little today.”

Jeno looked at Jaemin, with a look showing sorrow and concern, “Okay, but please eat a little more than that though.”

Jaemin nodded and looked towards the one person at the table that Mark didn’t recognize.

“Taeil hyung, Mark was asking about the story of how our group came to be, mind telling us that.”

“Ah Jaemin now you’ve started it, Grandpa Taeil is going to come out,” said Jaehyun from across the table.

“I’ll tell the story a little later, it seems some people are tired of hearing it.”

“Well some of us have heard it over and over since we’ve been here since the beginning.”

“I can’t help that the babies are social butterflies, when new people join it’s usually always been because of them.  They’re growing up so fast, Jeno’s already getting so handsome,” he replied, wiping away a fake tear.

“Jeno’s been handsome for years!” yelled Jaemin.

“Fine, you gay, Jeno’s getting handsomer,” Jaehyun teased.

Mark turned to Jeno, who happened to be eating to hide his blushing face.  He looked up and said, “You’re all biased, ask Mark, Chenle, and Jisung who they thought the most handsome was before getting to know us.”

_ Oh no. _

Everyone’s heads turned to the three, Jaemin gave Mark a knowing look.

“Jisungie who’d you think was the most handsome?” asked Ten.

The youngest looked around before quietly saying, “Other than Chenle, I thought that Jaemin hyung had a beautiful smile.”

Jaemin gave him that beautiful smile while covering his face, shy from the compliment.

“Chenle? Who did you think was the most handsome?”

Chenle finished chewing before saying, “Other than Jisung, Renjun is very handsome.”

Donghyuck laughed at Renjun’s blushing face and pushed him out of his chair, “Everyone loves the pretty boy, Renjun.”

From the floor, a rushed “Thank you!” was heard.

“What about you Mark?”

_ Fuck. _

Jaemin looked at him eagerly.

“I did think that Donghyuck was really handsome.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I'll make sure to have a chapter up soon, but in case I don't get it in before the year ends happy new year! I hope your 2017 ends well.  
> Chapter title is Her by BTS (related to Jaemin's gender and all that)


	8. Moondance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sleepover part 2!  
> So many feelings get exposed and romantic actions  
> \--  
> Is my palm too sweaty?
> 
> Does he want to let go but I’m just not letting him?
> 
> Why is he still holding my hand??

Renjun was the first to react, pushing Donghyuck out of his chair with unexpected strength while yelling, “It’s your turn now pretty boy!”

“No pushing at the table!” yelled Taeyong.

“I always knew I was the visual!  None of you can say anything about me again because Mark thought I was handsome!” Donghyuck yelled, while trying to get back up.

“Thought- past tense,” teased Jeno.

“Shut up!  You’re just jealous because none of them said you!” retorted Donghyuck, finally up from floor.

“I still think you’re very handsome,” said Mark, quietly while cutting up his chicken.  Jaemin smiled widely at him, before he knew it, Mark was on the floor from being pushed out of his chair.

“All of you are so flirtatious, stop pushing each other!” said Taeyong a second time.

“I thought Doyoung was the mom,” said Ten, leading Doyoung to reply with, “At this point I’ve accepted that you’re all a mess.”

“Pushing is how the kids show affection now, back in our day you would stab someone in the leg as a way of saying I love you,” said Taeil.

“Is that how you asked Taeyong to be your boyfriend?” smiled Johnny.

“Yes, you should try it with Ten.”

“Did you just suggest I stab Ten in the leg? He’s a dancer!”

“You know exactly what I was suggesting John Seo,” Taeil replied, taking a sip of his water.

Their dinner went on after that, without anything overly interesting happening.  Eventually everyone had eaten enough, but Doyoung left the food out, inviting anyone who wanted to get some throughout the night.

“You cooked so much hyung! We’ll never be able to finish this,” complained Donghyuck, seeing how much food had been left by the 15 boys.

“At least we’re not short on food.”

It had just turned 8:30, and Donghyuck was already asking, “Johnny can you take us to the store?  Mark agreed to let me dye his hair.”

“That’s going to be a mistake, Mark,” was heard, courtesy of Ten.

“Alright everyone, we’re going to Target, find a place in someone’s car.”

Jaemin grabbed his hand, leading him to Johnny’s car, “Now’s your chance to get him to fall in love with you!” he said sitting in the back.

“Nothing’s going to happen!  If we’re being realistic, I’ll just be a nervous idiot around him and next thing I know, I have blue hair.”

“Do your parents even know this is happening?”

Mark flinched a little at the word parents.  He was grateful for Mr. and Mrs. Min, but the word parents reminded him of the past he tried so hard to forget.

“Mark?  Are you okay.”

“Yeah, sorry, they’re okay with it.”

Holding him closer, Jaemin said, “Mark if you’re uncomfortable with something you can tell me, you don’t have to hide it.”

Mark debated on telling him before whispering, “I’ll tell you later, there’s a lot of people in this car.”

_He’s not going to understand, he’ll think you’re overreacting and that you’re ungrateful._

_Fuck._

“Alright kids we’re here,” Johnny said, pulling into a parking spot.

“Target after 8pm is always surreal and weird.  Let’s buy random crap,” said Donghyuck, “Taeil will probably pay.”

“Donghyuck, he’s a college student!  He may have the highest paying job out of all of us but you can’t exploit him like this!”

“I don’t know what that word means but I’m obviously not exploiting Taeil!  We’ll pay him back!”

The rest of their group arrived shortly after, Doyoung saying, “Alright kids, don’t disturb the employees too much and don’t destroy Taeil’s wallet completely.  By the way, Taeil, you’re paying.”

“Now just because I get paid 15 dollars an hour that means I have to pay for everything!  I only work 20 hours a week!”

“We’re going to pay you back, don’t worry babe,” said Taeyong.

15 teenagers scattered the moment, they entered the store.

“Mark? Jaemin? Do you want to get the hair dye first?” said Donghyuck from Mark’s left.

“Actually I have to look for something with Jeno but take Mark!” Jaemin smiled, pushing Mark towards Donghyuck’s direction, running off with Jeno, “We’ll go to the hair section in a bit, don’t do anything you’ll regret!”

Donghyuck held out his hand to Mark’s, taking it and walking towards the beauty section.

“Okay so you said you wanted blue hair?  Your hair is pretty dark so we’re going to have to bleach it a little, but if you wanted a dark blue look it won’t be as much bleach.

“Dark blue will be fine.”

He held Mark’s hand tightly, picking out a few and explaining their differences, comparing prices and how long they lasted.

“Okay so this one is 17 dollars and it lasts 2 months.  After that it will start fading, is this one okay?”

“Yeah sure, I’ll probably redo it when the time comes.”

_Is my palm too sweaty?_

_Does he want to let go but I’m just not letting him?_

_Why is he still holding my hand??_

“Oh there you are, did you get the dye?” they turned to see Jeno, and following him was Jaemin, “Jeno you walk too fast,” noticing their hands, Jaemin gave Mark an excited smile and said, “Did you guys find what you were looking for?”

“Yeah! We decided on this blue one!  Where’s the rest of the group?”

“I don’t know, let’s look around maybe we’ll find some of them.”

They went on, Donghyuck holding Mark’s hand the whole time, pulling him close.

“Angel, I love you, but you can’t force hyung to spend $80 on a juicer,” was heard as they walked by the kitchen appliances.

“I’ll pay him back!”

“You’ll have to work for 10 hours to pay him back!”

“I need it!”

“You do not.”

The group of four looked to see Jaehyun holding Doyoung’s waist from behind, while Doyoung held a juice machine.  They hid an aisle to the left to eavesdrop some more.

“Are they actually dating now?” whispered Jaemin.

“It sure looks like it, when do you think they’ll tell the rest of us.” replied Jeno.

“Well it’s not like we didn’t see it coming.”

“Hyungs!” yelled Donghyuck, the two immediately stepping apart, “where’s the rest of the group?”

“I don’t know but do you think Taeil will be okay with getting me this?”

“Absolutely not.”

“See? I told you and what do you even need a juicer for?”

“To make juice?  Honestly what kind of question?”

“Let’s find everyone else, I’m sure they’ll be here for a while,” suggested Jeno, texting their group chat, “where the fuck are you guys??”

 

ten out of ten: looking @ socks

jhonnie: looking @ ten look @ socks

 

“Guess we’re headed to the socks.”

“Are you sure?  It feels like there’s more tension between Johnny and Ten, it did get awkward around them after Taeil called out Johnny for not asking Ten already,” said Jaemin, stopping at each aisle to look for more of their friends.

“It’s probably just Ten getting impatient,” replied Jeno, “He’s wanted to date Johnny for years now, yet Johnny won’t tell him why he won’t.  And it has been a few months since Ten brought it up.”

“Do you think they’ll argue again?”

“I don't know, I just want Taeyong to throw them in a room and force them to figure it out, or at least have them be more mature about it like Sicheng and Yuta.”

They heard Ten’s voice from a few feet ahead, causing them to stop and hide closely behind.

“I just don’t understand why you won’t do it already.  You never explain why.”

“Ten, I’m just not sure if I could do it.”

“Do what?  It wouldn’t change much we would just finally have a title.  It’s not like we haven’t done other things before.”

“They can’t argue in a Target right?  That’s weird even for them right,” asked Donghyuck, whispering.

“I want to date you, but I’m scared.”

“You’ve always been scared of dating me, but you weren’t scared of dating Jongin.”

“Should we call Taeyong hyung,” whispered Jaemin.

“I’m not sure that would make it better,” replied Donghyuck, a genuinely worried look on his face.

“Jongin was different.”

There was quiet for a minute before Ten whispered, “but in what way.”

“I wasn’t scared of doing something wrong with Jongin, but I’m scared of messing it up for you.”

Ten was quiet for a few minutes, the silence terrified the four.

“You weren’t scared when we kiss, when we had sex after last year’s prom, and despite everything we’ve gone through together, you still won’t date me.  Do you know how it feels to do something so intimate with someone you love, but still being unsure of whether or not they even feel the same way?  You wouldn’t even bring it up, I just assumed you did it to get over Jongin, I just thought you were using me.”

“They did that?” asked Donghyuck, “did they fuck in Renjun’s house?”

“God, Donghyuck, most people have fucked in Renjun’s house,” whispered Jeno, “and keep your voice down!”

“Oh my god are people going to fuck in Chenle’s house?”

“I wouldn’t be surprised.”

“I’m just not going to live up to your expectations, I already know it.”

The atmosphere around them started to become less angry as Ten said, “I’ve had feelings for you for forever, you won’t disappoint me.”

The group of four stood silently, waiting for what the other would say next.

“Ten, I’m sorry.  I’m sorry for hurting you and I’m sorry it’s taking so long,” Johnny said, so quietly the group of boys listening in could hardly hear him, “Now that I have the opportunity to do this, I don’t even know how.  I’ll buy you these socks if you agree to be my boyfriend?”

When the four heard Johnny say that, they looked at each other excitedly, anticipating Ten’s response.

“Johnny you loser, being your boyfriend is all I’ve wanted for so long.  You don’t need to buy me socks but I’ll take them anyways.”

Jeno led the group of four away, “I think it’d be best if we left them alone for now.”

They quietly walked away, shaken after hearing all of that.

“How long have we been in here?  I feel like it's only been 10 minutes.” asked Jaemin.

Mark turned on his phone to see 10 messages sent to the group chat, about 30 minutes ago, “I think it’s been a lot longer, and I think everyone’s ready to go.”

\--

Arriving at the checkout line, Donghyuck added the bleach and hair dye to the cart containing everything else.  Mark noticed Doyoung’s juicer was not in the mix.

“Your total is $73.97,” said the cashier in a monotonous voice.

Taeil handed over his card saying, “You all better pay me back or I will throw hands.  Don’t test me.”

They all thanked the cashier and left the store, heading to the cars.

“The moon is so pretty tonight!” said Chenle.

“This reminds me of the time Ten and I had a dance battle like a few months ago,” said Taeyong, smiling fondly at the memory.

“No, please not again, I don’t want to have to seduce our way out of getting in trouble again,” whined Doyoung, recalling the memory, just not as fondly.

“Hyung that wasn’t even seduction, you just had to act cute to apologize for their dancing and Sicheng’s flip that almost dented a car.” smiled Jaehyun.

“It felt like seduction! Like cute seduction.”

“We get it, the sacrifices you’ve made for this family,” joked Donghyuck, “we should all dance again.”

Jaemin, Jeno, and Taeyong immediately started doing some sort of choreographed routine, while the others just stood, unsure of what to do.  Johnny turned on some soft music, much to Doyoung’s dismay.

“Mark! Dance with me!” said Donghyuck.

“How?”

“Just a simple waltz, it makes me so happy.”

Mark carefully placed his hands over Donghyuck’s shoulders, and he felt Donghyuck’s hands on his waist and for once, he didn’t flinch.  They swayed along to the music, their closeness making everything else disappear.  Mark looked at the younger, a calm but happy look on his face, magenta hair still bright under the moonlight.  He vaguely saw Jisung and Chenle dancing playfully, contrasting with Johnny and Ten who were barely keeping it PG.  For the first time in what felt like forever, Mark felt calm and content with himself.  He felt close to Donghyuck, so close that the thought of tilting his hair and leaning forward a few centimeters came up more than once.  But he wouldn’t ruin anything.  

The music stopped and they pulled apart, Mark noticing the faint blush that painted Donghyuck’s cheeks.

“Alright we should really start going, I thought summers were supposed to be warm but it's getting a little cold out.” said Doyoung, holding onto Jaehyun’s hand.  They all got into the car they came in, and Donghyuck spent the entire ride playing with Mark’s hair, whispering about how excited he was to dye it for him.

\--

Donghyuck appeared from behind him, with plastic gloves and his sleeves rolled up a little, barely exposing any skin on his arm.  Mark worried the bleach or dye would stain the younger’s clothes.  Mark felt his hand be taken by Donghyuck’s, pulled into the bathroom Chenle had shown them to earlier, Jaemin and Jisung following them.  Jaemin followed to laugh at a flustered Mark, Jisung followed to see if he could trust Donghyuck to dye his hair in the future.

The sound of crinkling plastic filled Mark’s ears as Donghyuck ran his covered hands through Mark’s dark brown wavy hair.  He felt Vaseline being applied to his forehead and ears, heard the mixing of the powder bleach with the developer, and finally felt Donghyuck apply the bleach to his hair in soft strokes.  Afraid of saying the wrong thing, he kept quiet.

Donghyuck noticed, saying, “You know you can talk right?  We’re going to be here a while.”

Jaemin laughed at Donghyuck’s comments, “He’s probably just nervous to talk, Donghyuckie!  Don’t be so blunt!”

The latter smiled, teasing, “Is it because you still think I’m handsome, hyung?”

“I do still think you’re handsome!” he replied, a blushing mess, trying not to move as to not make it hard for Donghyuck.

A while later, Mark’s hair was covered in the chemical-scented cream, Donghyuck set a timer for 20 minutes, wanting to only lighten the hair since Mark was going for a dark blue look.  The 20 minutes went by, light conversation being thrown around as Mark’s hair was stripped of its color.

The default alarm sounded for the timer, Donghyuck led Mark to the shower.  As his hair was being run under cold water, followed by purple shampoo, the bathroom started to smell like a water park.  

“Donghyuck, I can feel my brain cells dying, how do you dye hair so often,” complained Jisung, covering his nose and mouth with his grey hoodie.

“When you think about how often Donghyuck dyes hair, his thoughts and intelligence start to make sense,” laughed Jaemin.  Mark heard a soft thud and a pained sound from Jaemin shortly after he said that.

Mark saw the water running clear, extended his arm out, and was passed a towel by Donghyuck.  Mark looked up after drying his hair to see his reflection, seeing the deep golden-orange color that the bleach had caused.

“The curls in your hair look like ramen now,” stated Jisung.

“Yeah… Please dye my hair now i don't like having yellow hair.”

Donghyuck complied, completely drying Mark’s hair before applying Vaseline to the same places as before.  He mixed the dye together and began to apply it to Mark’s now orange curly hair.

At this point, Jisung had left the room, complaining about the chemical scent that filled the bathroom, leaving only Jaemin, Mark, and Donghyuck alone.

The conversation flowed smoothly, Mark not feeling nearly as nervous as when they began.  Jaemin kept teasingly hinting at Mark’s feelings, but Donghyuck remained oblivious, focused on covering Mark’s hair in the dye.

“Now we just wait for 40 minutes, that should be long enough so that it’ll develop.”

Mark’s hair was covered by a shower cap and they left the bathroom to get some fresh air.

“Mark, there’s no going back now, if there’s any boy you had you had your eye on, Donghyuck will ruin your chances with him!” greeted Mark as they stepped out.

Johnny’s grip around Ten’s waist tightened as he said, “I would still like you with red and black hair.”

“Consider it Ten!  You won’t lose your man this time,” yelled Donghyuck as he went over to Renjun, leaving Mark and Jaemin behind.

“Mark he likes you, I don’t know in what way but he definitely likes you!”

“Well that’s a relief, and it’s not going to get any further than that,” replied Mark, reaching up to run his hands through his hair, only to be stopped by the shower cap.

Jaemin took Mark’s hands, “Why not!  This could be your opportunity!  Kiss him during truth or dare!  Confess to him at 2am!  I mean you guys danced together that has to mean something to him, don’t act like you couldn’t tell how happy it made him, he was so flustered on the way back.”

Mark considered telling Jaemin his past experiences with dating, only to decide against it out of fear.

Besides, there was no way Donghyuck could feel anything towards him right?

He held onto Jaemin’s hands, looking over to where Renjun and Donghyuck sat, deep in in quiet conversation.

\--

_Jeno was not going to like this._

But he should support his best friend right?

“Hyuckie, Chenle is really cute and I don’t really know what to do,” whispered Renjun.

Donghyuck tried to act like his regular self, “Yes I get it, his smile lights up your heart and he speaks Mandarin so your mom will love him.  Just talk to him, he thinks you’re handsome!”

“If it’s that easy why don’t you just talk to Mark, he thinks you’re handsome.”

“I am talking to Mark!  And he’s cute but right now we focus on your huge gay crush on Chenle.”

“I don’t know, I feel like he and Jisung have something going on already… and admit it!  You have a huge gay crush on Mark!”

“I met him 3 days ago, I can’t have a crush on him.”

“Love is a magical thing, you’ll understand when you’re older.”

“If you don’t shut the fuck up about the few months you’ve lived longer I will somehow date Chenle.”

“Guess I’ll date Mark then.”

Donghyuck’s phone had 7 minutes left on the timer, causing him to go back to the bathroom, Mark Jaemin and Jisung following.

He had to tell Jaemin.

\--

“Don’t ruin Chenle’s shower with hair dye!” advised Jisung as Mark stepped in.  Donghyuck tensed up, wanting to tell Jaemin the issue at hand but not sure if this was the time.

But when else?

“You guys all know about Jeno’s crush on Renjun, right?” inquired Donghyuck, deciding that telling these three wouldn’t hurt.

“Where are you even going with this, of course we know,” said Jaemin, cleaning up the bathroom sink from where blue dye had gotten on it.

“Jaemin, Renjun might have a crush on Chenle but not really a crush just thinks he’s cute and I feel like with time it could turn into a crush and as his best friend I want to support him and his happiness but I don’t want Jeno to feel bad because Renjun is still oblivious to his feelings and he hasn’t mentioned anything about being attracted to Jeno other than regular complimenting and I don’t want to stop Renjun from feelings but I don’t want Jeno to be sad, help.”

The three others froze, Jisung speaking first, in a quiet and broken voice, “Renjun likes Chenle?”

Donghyuck covered his mouth and Mark stepped out of the shower with now blue hair, “I’m so sorry I completely forgot you two were friends.”

The three elder boys looked to see Jisung’s reaction, but he stood there frozen with an empty look on his face, “You can’t let Renjun tell him.”

“Why not?”

“Chenle doesn’t respond well to romantic advances due to things I can’t say.  I’ve had feelings for him for years but I would never tell him because it wouldn’t end well.  A girl asked him to a dance in 6th grade and he almost left the school out of anxiety.  He’s gotten better with it but it’d be too much for him and he wouldn’t feel safe.  Please don’t let Renjun tell Chenle.”

Donghyuck bit his bottom lip in anxiety, “I’ll figure something out.”

Jaemin tried to lighten the atmosphere, “On a more positive note, Mark’s hair is blue now!”

\--

_Who knew sleepovers would be this romance heavy, it seems as if everyone’s in some kind of emotional issue.  Google didn’t mention this._

Mark lay on Jaemin’s lap, watching Cutthroat Kitchen most of the group.  To him, everyone seemed to be so calm despite the issues and feelings.  Everyone just didn’t want to ruin it for the rest of them.  It seemed like Jaemin was having the same thoughts.

As one of the chefs gave $8,000 to have his opponent make apple pie using burnt banana bread as the crust, Mark looked up at Jaemin, “Is it just me or does this all feel like a storm waiting to happen?”

“Yeah, I don’t know how I would turn burnt bread into crust.  I don’t even know how to make pie crusts.”

“I meant everyone's repressed emotions.”

“Oh you meant that.  Yeah you… you don't even know.  Have you ever heard of that card kissing game?”

“Yeah.”

“Taeil and Taeyong owe it to a 5 of diamonds for their relationship.  We were celebrating Jaehyun’s birthday and Johnny jokingly suggested it since it was also Valentine’s Day.  Now they’re dating so at least it worked out.”

“Do you think anything will happen tonight?”

“Already did, you heard Johnny and Ten at Target.  I’m honestly just hoping they don’t fuck in Chenle’s house.  He’s only young.”

“What do you think is the worst thing that could happen,” asked Mark, closing his eyes as Jaemin ran his fingers through Mark’s hair.

He stopped to say, “Couple breaks up.  This feels like foreshadowing but I hope it doesn’t happen,” he resumed stroking Mark’s hair as they watched the contestant pay another 5,000 to replace his opponent’s oven with a microwave.

\--

“Go to sleep it's way past all your bedtimes!”

“It’s just past midnight!”

“Bedtime children!”  
“We’re only like two years younger.”

Doyoung was laying down blankets as Jeno complained.  No one would be sleeping soon but it would be nice to just lay in the warmth of the blankets next to others.

“You guys want to play truth or dare?” suggested Jaemin.

“Truth or dare is just code for “tell me who you like”,” replied Ten.

“You’re right, we already know the answer to that,” laughed Jaemin.

Ten attempted to throw a pillow at Jaemin, missing him due to poor aim and hitting Mark, who had Jaemin’s arm around him.  Jaemin took the same pillow and threw it back at him, “Don’t hit my love!”

“Your love?  Son, is there something you want to tell us?” asked Taeyong.

“You’re not my dad and I’m not dating Mark if that was the question.”

Mark smiled as Jaemin’s heart hurt just a little more because it was true.  He wasn’t dating Mark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm adding more and more drama as it goes oh man. I promise I do have a plan for this story!  
> Leave a comment or kudos if you'd like!!  
> Chapter title is Moondance by B.A.P.


	9. First Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s almost 6 in the morning and everyone had fallen asleep. One night felt like it lasted forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here to bring another update. if you like soulmate aus read the new fic im working on, its nomin centered, can't fight fate.  
> i hope you enjoy this chapter!!

Mark sat next to Jaemin on the floor, the two wrapped in a blanket as music played in the background.  He wore Jaemin’s extra speech and debate sweatshirt over his black shirt.  Mark’s heart stopped when he realized what he had forgotten.

“Jaemin…” he said, leaning into the other’s chest, “I haven’t taken my night meds yet.”

“Do you have them with you?”

“I think so.”

“Do it right now, I’ll go with you.  Better late than never.”

They stood up and picked up the two pills he took every night from his bag.  They slowly walked into the kitchen to get a glass of water, to find something both surprising and not surprising at the same time.

Doyoung and Jaehyun, deep in a kiss next to the counter.

The four stared at each other in a state of sleep deprived shock before Jaemin spoke up saying, “Bitch what the fuck.  I mean I’m not surprised it was you two but in the fucking kitchen?  Actually I’m not surprised about that either, but you guys could have had the decency to disappear into one of the bathrooms for 20 minutes like Johnny and Ten.”

Their shame from being caught disappeared at the mention of Johnny and Ten, “Did they fight again?  I noticed there was tension at dinner when Taeil brought up that Johnny should stab Ten in the leg already,” asked Doyoung.

“Oh no, a lot better than that.  But I think we should wait for them to tell us,” Jaemin replied, as Mark took his medication.

He took Mark’s hand and led him away.  He knew that with every second he spent with Mark, his feelings grew.  He didn’t want to make Mark uncomfortable by telling him, but he didn’t really know how he would get rid of the feelings either.

In reality, he just didn’t know what kind of feelings he had for Mark.  They weren’t platonic, but he didn’t know if he actually wanted a relationship with him.  He had the urge to tell him, but Mark had made it very clear to him that he was attracted to Donghyuck, not Jaemin.

Jaemin’s heart kept hurting at the last thought.  Mark simply didn’t feel the same way as him.  He didn’t really blame him for it either.

He should have told him earlier.

He shouldn’t have asked about his feelings for Donghyuck.

He should have been more charming the first time they met.

But of course, who could feel attraction to someone like him.  His mind was a boy’s but his body a girl’s.  He sat next to Mark, crossing his arms over his chest, dysphoria taking over him.  He turned on his phone to check the time.  1:30AM.

Only a half hour left before Jeno forced him to take off his binder.

\--

Jaemin felt Jeno’s hand hold his shoulder and squeeze his collarbone.  His heart fell.  He knew what was going to happen.

“Jaemin, angel, you have still have your binder on,” he whispered closely to his ear, after not having felt bra straps when he squeezed Jaemin’s clavicle.

“Yeah,” he replied in a strained tone.

Without replying, Jeno pulled Jaemin away from where he sat with Mark, taking him to the nearest bathroom.

“I don’t understand why you make me do this, it doesn’t hurt too much anyways!  It hurts more to be without it.”

Jeno closed the door, turning the other way knowing how uncomfortable Jaemin felt with his own body, despite Jeno having seen him so many times.

“Every sleepover we have, you make me take off my binder.  You’ll call me every night to ask if I have taken it off yet.  You aren’t trans, Jeno, you don’t know how it makes me feel.  I know you intend to care for me, but I just never want to take off my binder.  No matter how much pain it causes me I want to keep it on.”

“I can’t just let you hurt yourself like this again, you’re already pushing it by dancing when you haven’t fully recovered from that back injury when your binder was too tight and you wore it 5 days straight.  I just don't want that to happen again.  What if you hurt your ribs this time or your lungs?  What if you can’t dance for real this time?  And I know you aren't eating enough, you're losing too much weight from dancing more often than the doctors said you should.  Twice a week is walking on the edge and I know you practice at home too.”

Jaemin didn’t respond, knowing the other was right.  Jeno turned around to face his best friend, wearing only his binder.  Jaemin made no effort to cover himself, “Jeno it hurts.”

“I know angel, please take it off.”

Tears began to blur his vision as Jeno pulled him in, holding onto his bare waist.  His hands slid up to Jaemin’s back, hugging him as he said, “Jeno that’s not the part that hurts.”

Minutes passed before Jeno turned back around, waiting for Jaemin’s binder to come off.  He knew he didn't know the same experiences but he did know that Jaemin was hurting himself by doing all this.

“Jeno, I think I have a crush on Mark.  But not a real crush just a mix of platonic and romantic feelings floating around.”

“He is really cute but there’s way too much romance at this sleepover, I can already feel this ending badly.”

“The sleepover?”

“No, this year maybe?  I feel like something fucked up will happen.”

“Too many people dating?”

“I think a situation similar to when Johnny dated Jongin last year?  Our group talking less until Taeyong made everyone get it together and forced Johnny and Ten to get along after the breakup, then prom.”

“Prom was good though.”

“You have no idea how many people actually fucked in Renjun’s house.”

“What do you mean?  Only Taeil and Taeyong were dating and we just found out about Johnny and Ten.  You can turn around now.”

Jeno, turned to face him, saying, “Remember when Jaehyun went to prom with Seokmin and Doyoung was like sad that Seokmin and his friends were at Renjun’s house and how Jaehyun spent a lot of time with Seokmin.  And Sicheng became friends with Minghao because they were both Chinese?”

“Don’t tell me Seokmin and Jaehyun fucked that night too.”

“No, but Doyoung and Yuta did.”

Jaemin stared at him in complete shock, waiting for Jeno to announce that he had just been joking.

“But neither are, they’re not?  They’ve never expressed any sort of attraction towards each other?  Is that why neither went out for ice cream with us the week later?”

“Probably.  The point is if Jaehyun going to prom with someone else and Sicheng paying less attention to Yuta brought that, imagine what a whole bunch of crushes and relationships will bring.  I just hope no one’s friendships fall apart.”

“Wait how do you know this?  And why didn’t you tell me before?”

“It was a strange and somewhat scarring incident where I walked in to ask Yuta something and found them instead.  I assumed they didn’t hear me since they never mentioned it so I’ve kind of just lived with this information.”

“That really is just.  Unexpected.”

“Jaemin you’re not even ready for this.  You thought it would be Jaehyun and Seokmin.  Sicheng and Minghao.”

“Oh my god, now I really think you’re lying to me.  Sicheng is like.  Young.  I know he’s older than us but it feels like he’s younger?  I don’t know I just didn’t expect it.”

“They didn’t fuck as far as we know.  This time it was Donghyuck who walked in on them making out in the bathroom.  Prom was really something for the upperclassmen.  I think the only thing we did was that Donghyuck tried to get a date with Chan but Chan ended up kissing you.  And you thought Hansol was cute but Hansol already had a boyfriend.  Tell me again why we decided to join groups for the night, there was at least 20 of us right?”

“Jaehyun went with Seokmin and Donghyuck thought that Chan was cute.  Renjun allowed us to have a sleepover after party at his very large home.”

\--

Jaemin sat next to Mark, this time without a binder, doing his best to hide his chest.  Wanting more attention, he lay his head on Mark’s shoulder, leading Mark to instinctively put his arm around the younger.  Forgetting his dysphoria for a small moment, he went closer, burying his nose in the crook of Mark’s neck, Mark began to rub his arm and shoulder gently.

His arm suddenly froze, taking Jaemin by surprise.

_ Why did he- oh no. _

Mark didn’t know how to ask but Jaemin had already noticed that he couldn’t play it off to not intrude on the other’s privacy.  He didn’t know how to feel other than bad for Jaemin.

The younger stood up and walked away without a word. __ Mark’s mind was filled with questions.

_ Would following be the correct response? _

_ Would he want to be alone? _

_ Why was Jaemin wearing that? _

He stood up to go see where Jaemin had gone, careful to not make a scene or be noticed so that Jaemin wouldn’t feel more embarrassed.

“Jaemin?”

“Sorry.”

“What are you sorry for?”

“That you had to find out like that.  Not many people know and I knew it would be found out someday but I didn’t want it to be today.”

“Jaemin, sorry, but I’m not entirely sure of what I found out?  I don’t want to make assumptions.”

The atmosphere softened, although Jaemin was still riddled with anxiety. 

“I’m sorry.  I’m transgender.  I left to change out of my binder and I forgot that you can feel bra straps through a shirt and I’m sorry I made you touch me.  I shouldn’t have made you touch me when I’m like this.”

“Jaemin you didn’t make me touch you.  I did that I’m sorry it made you uncomfortable.  Your gender identity doesn’t change anything unless you want me to not touch you, I promise I’ll understand.”

“I was thinking of telling the others tonight but I wasn’t sure and it seems that you ended up finding out anyways.”

“I’m sorry if this doesn’t help but I don't think anything bad would come out of telling them.  I’m sure they won’t react badly.”

“I know.  I’m just scared for dumb selfish reasons and I don’t know how to say it.”

“How did you say it to those who already know?”

“I just kind of did.  I don’t know.”

“If you want to, I think you should.  If you aren’t ready, that’s valid too.”

The genuine honesty and caring tone in Mark’s voice made it harder for Jaemin.  How was he supposed to stop having feelings for him if he kept on being so sweet and cute?

Donghyuck was lucky and he didn’t even know it yet.

—

3am.

It really felt like the time.  What better time to expose yourself than 3am at a sleepover with depressed teens?

None, and Mark would be there with him.  Mark wasn’t going to let anything bad happen to him. And a few already knew.  And they were all gay, they should be fine with this. 

He was still going to be the same after this.  No one would treat him any different.

They were all laying down in a circle, tired and waiting for someone to say something. 

It was time. 

Holding Mark’s hand tightly he nervously said, “I’m trans.”

The silence was harsh, scaring him. Tears filled his eyes but he tried not to cry. 

“Which way?” asked Ten, in confusion, “Were you born male or female?”

“Female.  I didn’t know how to say it but that’s it. I’ve been hiding it from most of you since we met.  But now you all know.”

“I don’t want this to sound rude but now your family situation makes a lot more sense.” said Jaehyun.

“Well whatever your gender is, we support you,” said Taeyong like a caring brother, “You’ll always be Jaemin unless you want to change that.”

It was a lot easier than Jaemin expected it to be, and with uncertainty of what to do next he said, “Who wants to expose himself next?”

“Johnny and I are dating now!  We got together at Target.”

“Isn’t that just romantic,” replied Taeil, laughing.

“Shut the fuck up, you and Taeyong got together because of a card game.”

“Let’s play again!”

“Absolutely not, there are children here,” said Doyoung, referring to the underclassmen.

“I’m sure we’ve all had our first kiss.” said Jeno.

“Chenle and Jisung are real children, I doubt they have.  And did Donghyuck ever have his first kiss?”

“I did!!  Yoon Sanha at last year’s winter formal.  I didn’t tell anyone but the sophomores because it was a little weird for the both of us.”

“Chenle?  Jisung?  You two are still children, you shouldn’t have kissed anyone yet right?”

“My first kiss was actually Chenle,” said Jisung, blushing at the memory.

“I consider my real first kiss Jisung.”

“How the fuck did that happen,” said Donghyuck, sitting up suddenly, “Aren’t you guys like 12?”

_ Coincidentally, they were in fact 12 when this happened, and Jisung held this memory dear to his heart.  Although he didn’t understand the event too well at the age of 12, two years later he found it easier to understand the other’s motive. _

_ It was a few days after Jisung’s birthday.   _

_ “I just don’t like that he was the last person to touch me like that, you know?  I’ve wanted it to change but I’m too young for anything like that!  But we’re both 12 now so maybe things can change soon.” _

_ It had been about a year since Chenle explained to Jisung his situation.  Chenle felt ready to bring it up again.  Jisung would listen to every word the other said. _

_ “I don’t really know what you mean because it didn’t happen to me but I can try to understand.” _

_ “Jisung can I tell you another secret?” _

_ “Of course.” _

_ “Close your eyes!” _

_ “Why does a secret need to have my eyes closed?” _

_ “Just do it!” he said, getting impatient. _

_ Jisung closed his eyes with a sigh, expecting anything, anything but the older’s soft lips against his own.  His eyes opened suddenly to see the shorter’s flushed face smiling, but tears forming at his eyes. _

_ “Now I’ve had my first kiss!” _

_ “Chenle that wasn’t-” _

_ “My first kiss Jisung, that was it,” the smaller replied, holding back tears. _

_ Jisung did his best to understand his best friend’s way of thinking, wiping the other’s tears with his dark blue sleeve, “It sure was Chenle, mine too.” _

But the crying was left out of the story.  Chenle was still too scared to tell anyone that wasn’t Jisung, even though it was years ago.  His therapist could hardly get any words about it out of him.

“And that was our first kiss.” said Chenle, finishing up the story.

“This is illegal they got their first kiss before me!” complained Donghyuck, “And theirs was cute too, mine was just awkward because he’s way taller than me!  And one of his friends interrupted it!  And I never even got his number!”

“Winter formal was a mess for you, but I only got my first kiss at the 8th grade dance,” said Renjun laughing.

“Renjun, I never told-”

“It was with Jeno.”

“Jeno what the fuck you never told us,” said Doyoung, “this is vital information!”

“How did Jeno get so lucky,” teased Ten, hinting at Jeno’s emotions.

Renjun, remaining oblivious replied, “I kept on complaining about how at that rate Donghyuck would get his first kiss before me, because even then he was still trying to get with Sanha, and I think Jeno got tired of me and just did it.”

The rest of the group laughed, all aware that Jeno wasn’t tired of Renjun.

“So Mark, how was your first kiss?” asked Taeyong, directing the question to try make him feel included.

_ He was 12, recently adopted when Mrs. Min found out he had previously done dance. _

_ Dropping him off at the studio, he whispered a quiet thanks and walked in.  His class was at his level, and he found it relatively easy. _

_ “Your name is Minhyung right?” _

_ He turned around to see a boy with dark brown hair and a face he wanted to paint.  He nodded, wordlessly.  The boy sat down next to him. _

_ “You’re really good at dance!  I’m Minhyuk.  Are you Korean too?” _

_ Mark nodded again. _

_ “Do you talk?” _

_ He smiled at the other’s humor, “Yes I do.” _

_ “Can I text you?  I don’t know that many people who like to dance too.” _

_ Over time they got to know each other, Mark found out more about Minhyuk and his young heart developed feelings.  He liked dancing with him and talking to him.  They went to different schools but Mark still did his best to talk to him.  They always went to their dance studio at the same hours. _

_ They stayed later to practice some choreography one afternoon. _

_ “Minhyung do you like boys?” _

_ “I don’t know, maybe,” he lied. _

_ “I like boys.” _

_ “Me too, I was just scared if you wanted a certain response, sorry.” _

_ The older smiled and slid closer to where Mark sat, “Minhyung do you like me?” _

_ “I don’t know, maybe.” _

_ “Because I like you, a lot,” with each word, Minhyuk went closer to Mark. _

_ “I like you too.  A lot.” _

_ Mark felt in his heart what was coming, he saw it in the dramas that Mrs. Min watched when she got home from work, and his suspicions were confirmed when Minhyuk went even closer to kiss Mark that afternoon in their nearly empty studio. _

“Park Minhyuk, we went to the same dance studio.  He was my first boyfriend too.”

“Park Minhyuk, the dancer?” asked Sicheng, “I know him, he’s a sophomore.  He’s a student ambassador.”

“Oh man Mark’s ex goes to this school?  That must be awkward,” said Ten.

Without thinking, Mark said, “Well it could be worse.”

“What do you mean?”

“He’s not the worst of my exes, it's not like he did anything bad to me.”

Without noticing, he was shaking in Jaemin’s arms.

“Mark are you okay,” he whispered.

“Yes!  Sorry yes, I just didn’t like what my last boyfriend did.”

“Sicheng will fight him.” said Yuta, “He’ll backflip him right into the sun if that’s what you want him to do.”

“Mark do you want to talk about it?” asked Doyoung, carefully adding, “you don’t have to if you don’t want to but you can.”

Going closer into Jaemin’s chest he thought,

_ Am I really about to expose myself like this. _

_ Yes. _

“The real reason I transferred in this year back to sophomore year is because my last boyfriend wasn’t a very good one.  Actually he was really bad.  Like he forced me to suck him off when I didn’t want to and almost forced me to have sex with him and would only call me by my Korean name and now I don’t like being called by it because it just reminds me of him and he would use my insecurities against me so that I felt like I was lucky to have him when in reality he was manipulating me for sex to fulfill his weird Asian fantasies.”

Saying all of that felt like too much.  He couldn’t stop.  He was filled with anger for him and was saying too much yet not enough, “He made my depression worse and forced me to care more about him than school and when my grades started dropping he said I wasn’t good enough and I couldn’t even pass sophomore year and he’s still out there, fine.  He’s fine he’s probably happy and I had to be the one to leave because even after we broke up I couldn’t get over it.  He moved on but I couldn’t and I don’t know why.”

“Did you tell your parents?” asked Doyoung, trying to offer some sort of help.

“Can’t tell my parents, they’re dead.  But I did tell the people who adopted me.  And I know it should feel like they are my parents and they do care for me a lot but the word parents is actually triggering now because I can’t get over years of emotional, physical, and sexual abuse yet I managed to date someone who abused me 2 out of the 3 ways they did.”

No one said anything, how could anyone know how to properly reply to all of that.

“Sorry.  I haven’t been able to say any of that and when I started I couldn’t stop.  Who wants to expose himself next?” Mark tried to end his side of the conversation, not really regretting what he had done but also not really wanting to continue.

In those three minutes he managed to go off on everything that had been bothering him the past year or so.  His fear of his new friend’s finding him ungrateful was outweighed by his anger, confusion, and sadness.

“Sorry,” he said one last time.

Jaemin held him deeper into his chest, ignoring the dysphoria that was soon to come.  For some reason, everything he said, even the bad things, made him love him more.

_ Leave!  Feelings leave!  He doesn’t want this! _

But Jaemin still did.

\--

Jisung felt someone shaking him awake.  5am.  Everyone had pretty much passed out at this point, yet Chenle was awake.

“Can’t sleep?” he asked.

“Jisung please hold me to sleep.  I don’t want anything to touch me.”

“Hold you?  Of course.”

His tired eyes tried to close as he brought his friend closer to him, the older relaxing in the other’s arms.  He fought to stay awake for Chenle, trying to make sure that he wouldn’t leave him alone and awake.

In his fatigued state of mind, he turned the other back around to face him, looking to his tired face.

“Chenle..” he said, leaning in closely, forgetting the risks that came with his choices, “please can I?”

The older nods, smiling, and all that Jisung feels next is a hand holding his shoulder, warm breath on his cheek, and something familiar against his lips.  Falling asleep shortly after, he holds his best friend close.

It’s almost 6 in the morning and everyone had fallen asleep.  One night felt like it lasted forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading! leave kudos or comment if you would like, i'll try to update before the month ends!  
> (chapter title is First Love- BTS Suga)


	10. Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three new friends are back and Mark gives up on privacy!

Ten was the first to wake up, coincidentally at 10am.  He looked around to see himself surrounded by the others sleeping together peacefully.  With shaking legs, he stood up and took a picture of the group from a higher angle. Unsure of what to do, he waited for someone else to wake up.  He didn’t have to wait long.

Doyoung woke up, looking up to see Ten on his phone and rolling back into his blanket.  Ten, not wanting to be alone any longer, forced himself into Doyoung’s blanket, claiming he was cold and alone.

“You have your own blanket!”

“Come on, bunny, don’t leave me alone I’m bored!”

“How do you have so much energy it’s so early.  You’re still so young.”  
“We were born the same year.”

“Young!”

It goes on and on, at some point moving into the kitchen, until eventually Doyoung asks, “By the way what ended up happening tonight with you and Johnny?”

“I’ll tell you if you tell me about you and Jaehyun.”

“Nothing happened between us.”

“Well in that case, nothing happened between me and Johnny.”

“Lies!”

“Right back at you.”

Doyoung rolled his eyes at the clever Thai boy, “We’re dating now I guess, like a real thing.  And we haven’t done anything intimate because he isn’t ready. And all we did was kiss like new couples do.  Nothing intense like I’m sure you and Johnny did.”

“Are you calling us out for fucking in the bathroom because you know we’ve been waiting a while to do that and we got caught up and one thing led to another and now Chenle’s home is tainted.”

“I didn’t even know you two did that but thanks for that I guess.  You didn’t mention that when exposing yourselves.”

“You didn’t mention you were dating Jaehyun.”

“Touché.”

\--

By noon, everyone was awake, unsure if last night was real or not.  Too much had happened at once, leaving Jeno concerned.

“I don’t know what happened last night, it all feels so fake,” he said to Jaemin, “Did I get exposed?”

“You sure did, you kissed Renjun and never told the hyungs.”

“I just didn’t want them to make a big deal, but now they definitely have.”

—

chenle: jisungie we have to talk about last night

chenle: or this morning

jisung: ?? what happened

chenle: i woke you up

chenle: you remember the rest?

jisung: i’m too tired to remember that much of last night, what happened?

chenle: nvm

chenle: sorry it was really nothing

 

Saturday afternoon, everyone had left.  Chenle lay in his bed, replaying the tired moment through his mind over and over.  His best friend, _asking_ to kiss again.  And kissing him. Could Jisung really forget something like that?

He wrapped himself in many blankets, tears slowly running down his soft cheeks, quietly wishing his friend was still there.

 

_“Chenle do you not like when people touch you, you don’t have to hug me if you don’t want to.”_

_They were 10, Jisung was over at his house for some project._

_“At first I thought it was because you were uncomfortable around new people but it’s been two years since you moved here, you don’t have to hug me if you don’t want to.”_

_He didn’t expect the other to be so forward with his words, or to even notice his reactions to physical affection.  Or really care, even._

_“Jisung remember when I said I was a child actor back in China?”_

_\--_

_With a deep breath, he finished by saying, “So I know it probably sounds weird but he touched me badly and that’s why my family moved here.  So now I get nervous when anyone touches me, my body thinks it’s him when my mind knows he’s not here? I don’t know my doctor explained it to me but I don’t understand it.  It’s okay if you don’t either.”_

_“Should I ask for permission first before touching you?  I don’t want to scare you.”_

_The older boy tried to smile before saying, “Yes.”_

 

Jisung always understood, Chenle had always felt a different kind of emotion toward his friend.  But if Jisung truly didn’t remember, it must have meant nothing to him.

Leaving the matter alone would be best for now.  Jisung didn’t have to know.

\--

adult: theyre here

jhonnie: who the fuck

ty track: THEYRE HERE

nana: whom** the fuck

(3 people were added to the chat)

qkun: HERE

uwujungwoo: HERE

dreamxuxi: HERE

adult: HERE !!!

adult: 

gaymer bf: wow i literally thought u guys died

gaymer bf: u didnt show up to the first week of school i just assumed

qkun: ??? we said we would be back the second week

gaymer bf: ?????? i don't recall

dance dance baby: WELL POINT IS THEYRE BACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

dance dance baby: wait where are you guys

nana: and why are only 2tae with them

ty track: restaurant across from airport

ty track: we thought you guys would be too tired from last night

[25 minutes later]

ty track: and now theres 18 of us in this restaurant great

\--

“Mark, Johnny’s outside.”

“What?”

He had been ignoring the group chat to do homework, but he couldn't ignore the call from Jaemin.

“We’re going to the restaurant near the airport.”

“Since when?”

“Since a few minutes ago, Yukhei, Jungwoo, and Kun are back from their summer in China.”

Putting on his shoes and taking his wallet, he opened the door to see Jaemin standing there.  The latter took his hand and ran him over to Johnny’s car, where a few others sat already.

“Okay so Jisung, Chenle, then airport?  And Doyoung and Yuta are getting the rest?” asked Johnny, to no one in particular.

“Yeah,” replied Ten.

“Who are Yukhei, Jungwoo, and Kun?” asked Mark, resting his head on Jaemin’s shoulder.

“3 of our friends, they went to China for the summer.  Sicheng would have gone if he wasn’t so busy with dance.  Yukhei is in our class, Jungwoo is a junior, and Kun a senior.”

“Are there any more people in this group that I need to know about?”

“Our group is limitless, it’s only a matter of time before Taeyong needs to take care of 73 of us.”

About 15 minutes later, they all arrived to the restaurant across the airport.  Sicheng was the most excited, running out of Yuta’s car and into the building, almost jumping on Kun.  Everyone else ran over to the other two, while Jisung, Chenle, and Mark stood behind them, unsure of what to do.  Noticing this, Taeyong quickly introduced them, “Yukhei, Jungwoo, Kun, this is Chenle, Jisung, and Mark.

The group of 18 sat down, pulling over chairs and adding a few tables.  Mark instinctively went over to Jaemin, who held his hand tightly under the table.  

As Doyoung doted on Jungwoo, everyone asked questions on how their trip was, what classes they had this year, if they met any cute boys, how their flight was.

Mark was unsure of whether he should say anything, he had just met them minutes before and anything he could say felt unwanted.  He looked down the table, where Donghyuck ate breadsticks with Renjun before he was startled by an unfamiliar voice, “You’re Mark?  We’re the same age.”

Looking to the left, the boy on the other side tried to make conversation.

_Oh fuck, what’s his name?_

Hoping he was right, he asked, “You’re Yukhei then?”

“Yeah! Taeyong told me you’re also born 99.  Did you start school late as well?”

“No, my credits didn’t transfer so I’m redoing my sophomore year.”

Their conversation went on, slowly and awkwardly, yet the older boy seemed to not run out of energy.

“Did Donghyuck dye your hair?”

Yukhei reached to touch Mark’s new dark blue hair, “he did, last night actually.”

Yukhei laughed, “He wanted to dye my hair before I left to China, but I didn’t let him.  He might try to convince me again. How did he get you to let him dye your hair.”

“I don’t know, just wanted to I guess.”

Yukhei looked at him with a knowing look, “you like him don’t you?”

Already having given up on his privacy, Mark replied with an exasperated look and, “is it really that obvious.”

“Nope!” exclaimed the older, “I just wanted to see what you would say, you did this to yourself!”

Mark sighed, “I guess I did.”

“So you gonna date him?  He’s not into Sanha anymore right?”

“I doubt he feels the same way and even if he did, I’m not sure I’m ready to handle a relationship again.”

“Well Donghyuck is weird with his emotions, I’ll tell you if he mentions you to me.”

Their short conversation ended as Ten called out to Yukhei.

Out of all things he would have expected in the first week of school, 17 new friends was not one of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i bet you all thought i was dead.  
> i've been in a bad state due to some personal stuff but i've had this chapter ready for a while. i'll put effort into more updates and i'll be updating can't fight fate pretty soon too. thank you for your comments, they really get me back into writing :)  
> also!! nct empathy is the only thing keeping me alive, i love 18 boys only.  
> \--  
> chapter title is Go - NCT Dream (my favorite of the new songs)


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